2005-09-26 - 11:41 a.m.

I'm going to tell you something that will shock you so you'd better sit down.

Strike that.

It probably won't shock you, not as much as say "grbyrotybzx,ftqgibrnref"'s (yeah, that's it from now on Crate, I'm just typing long lists of random letters when I mean you) bit about how all you make up wearers are really just smearing poo on your faces.

And if you're reading this you're probably already sitting down right? Not a lot of people are at their computers standing up.

If you are at your computer standing up then you're probably doing something really important and on the run. I'm guessing, maybe it's a safe assumption, that reading my diary isn't important enough to be done standing, or, y'know, on the run.

It should be though.

The only other reason for standing at your computer is that you laid your gigantic bottle of lovely fizzy soda water (raspberry lime) on your office chair and then pushed your office chair around outside and then inside the building--all in the belief that handy green cap was secure around the opening of the wonderfully fizzy water. You pushed and maybe even gave the chair a little joyful spin, only to discover that the crafty cap wasn't so secure and now your chair is full of raspberry lime fizzy water. Which is way less wonderful to sit on than drink.

Happened to me last week.

Anyway, here's the part I was saying may surprise you.

I had a good time with David friday night.

Now, let's not get carried away, most of it had nothing to do with David, but a tiny part of it did.

We met later than he anticipated (my fault, darn I just couldn't get out any earlier) which meant less time together (awwww).

I made him pick me up even though he had to borrow a car to do it, instead of having me ride with the rest of the family. (Escape rule number one). Driving myself was not an option since I was going to need to be very drunk.

We did go to see Corpse Bride.

It was my idea to see this but I was slightly worried because even though I know everyone thinks Tim Burton is a genius I have liked probably exactly two of his movies. And it wasn't Nightmare Before Christmas, so this seemed a bit like shooting my own foot.

Plus Tim's absolute LUST for Johnny Depp disturbs me to the core of my soul- an animated Depp was bound to disturb me even further in.

We got to the theater seconds after the movie started so David insisted (and his sister in law backed him up) that we see the next showing so that we would miss none of the movie.

This meant sitting in an empty theater with the Borings for nearly 40 minutes.


I sat next to David but was feeling antisocial (I know, hard to imagine) so I didn't sit between him and Kathy (the one sister in law I do get along with fairly well). I just went way down to the end of the row on my own with David in tow like the good little puppy he is.

Funniest thing was, Boring Boy was kinda amusing. He was showing me pictures and color samples from all the work they'd done on the Florida house, and it looked stunning. I was seriously impressed.

A sliver of personality showed itself and I found myself not having the worst time.

Then the movie started. We agreed about every preview except Harry Potter-which I've already explained to all of you I cannot afford to find myself enjoying or I will tip from geek to nerd and nobody wants to see that happen.

The actual movie itself was excellent.

Okay, excellent is strong, but I liked it. More than I like most movies but less than I like great movies (like Monsters, Inc. which was a STELLAR movie experience).

The one thing I'll say that gives anything away about the movie (though it doesn't really) is that there are spiders in it.

When the spiders came on David immediately covered my eyes.

Let me interject here...while David is intellectually the equivilent of Nyquil, he is very physically affectionate. When we used to hang around together all of the time I found this endearing (particularly because it annoyed the hell out of someone else who I was constantly forcing to prove his love for me).

As I saw him less and less I found it slightly intrusive and it felt...forced.

Friday night, I suppose because of the emotional morning with Jordan, it felt comforting.

When the movie was over we did the David thing of sitting in the theater until the very last credit had rolled and the only people left were the folks being paid to rip the sticky stuff off the floor.

I hate that. When a movie is over I like to leave. Granted now that my feet aren't so good I sometimes like to wait until the major surge of a crowd is gone so that I'm not plowed down on the stairs, but still, when there's noone left but the crickets...

Now it was sorta late, but some of us decided we could go on to Chili's for a drink. I knew I wouldn't get away with just a movie and I chose Chili's because I knew the bar had tv's. What they'd be watching was a crapshoot, but still, it would be something to stare at.

We settled into our booth at the bar and everyone ordered. Our cute little waitress leaned over David and his sis-in-law and said to me "I just need to see you i.d. hon".

I asked if she was serious. She said she was. She said she had to check anyone who looked under 35.

Allow me to share the fact that I am 39 and was the ONLY person at that table over 35. And the only one carded.

Sister-in-law pissed off...yay.

I sucked down the first drink pretty quickly, and then looked up at the screen over Andrew (brother, slightly less boring than David)'s head.

Anderson Cooper.

In the rain.


So just before midnight on friday I had a drink in my hand that I got carded for and was staring at a wet and windy Anderson Cooper.

Then I forgot my wallet at the bar.

Didn't realize it until the next day but since we were the last people in the bar it was okay, sweet little waitress girl saved it for me.

I blame Anderson.

By the time I got home I was so drunk giddy on the carding/Anderson high that I actually suggested that David and I have lunch tomorrow.

Better find somewhere with a nearsited barmaid and CNN.

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