2004-10-14 - 2:07 p.m.

Do you know what burning post it note smells like?

It doesn't smell like Autumn Forest.

I have exactly 20 yankee candles in my car and roughly 8 in my office desk. Today I decided that it's going to be rainy and I'm in a romancy sort of mood even though I'm attracted to exactly no one at the moment so I decided it would be nice to have a candle burning in the office.

I've been carrying a lighter around for weeks just for this occasion. I found the lighter in the bottom of an old purse. An old purse from when I was smoking.

A brief tangent: lately all I can think about it how amazingly good it would be to start smoking again...it's so much worse now than it's been for years and years. I miss smoking, I crave smoking...and before you all start up with the no you don't shit, YES I DO. I'm not going to start smoking again (not yet anyway) but for fuck's sake stop telling me that I don't miss it. I miss it more than I'd miss anyone who tells me I don't miss it.

Where was I?

Right, the post it note.

So I take out the old lighter, my old friend from when I used to be carefree and fun and would smoke my mornings away on the roof, and I try to light my candle. Only this particular lighter gave most of it's life to the pursuit of the first joyous drag of the day and it had only a tiny flame to offer to the autumn forest.

I tried again and again but the flicker was too brief.

Savant that I am I realized that paper would burn quicker so I pulled out a post it note. It took several tries but soon the post it was filled with fire. I let the candle and in my urgency to stop the burning of the post it before I lost my desk to the flames I blew out the candle.

Why are so many of my days lately becoming that episode of Frasier where Niles starts a fire while ironing his pants and faints from the blood on the cut of his finger?

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