2004-09-15 - 10:21 a.m.

They should have a new lane on every single road.

The Over 60 lane.

No, not 60m.p.h. Over 60 years old.

The old fuckers are killing me.

While taking down the ceiling tiles that had NOT crashed down around me my cousin found a complete skeleton of a rat. It was perfect in every way. So beautiful.

It had remained articulated and the jaw hinged so that you could open and shut it's little mouth without the mandible falling off.



I carefully set it on a plate and then instead a plastic bag. I was going to bring it to work today for two reasons, A. I wanted to glue and spray it to stop it from coming apart and B. I wanted to show it to Adam who I think would like this sort of thing.

In my car I placed it lovingly on the floor of the passanger side, tucking one corner of the plastic under something heavier so that it wouldn't slide.

Then I drove to work.

Slowly, because someone approx. 5,000 years old was in front of me and didn't have the strength left in her/his (who can tell when they get that old, kill me at 45, thanks) right foot to push down the pedal.

Fine. I'm aggrivated by their apparent fear of, oh, I dunno, shadows, trees, blowing leaves, because everytime anything happens they slow down to almost a stop.

Whatever, I lose the geriatric wonder when they turn to get on the highway (God bless 93) and continue on my way.

Soon enough though I am behind yet another silver haired citizen on their way to the beauty shop, or McDonalds for coffee with the crew...whatever, this one is driving moderately well, keeping up with traffic for the most part, only 6 car lengths behind the car in front of her.

We come to a place where the road goes from one lane to two.

This never happened when we were all in horse and buggies.

She swerves around the long line in the right lane but does NOT procede to the front of the empty left lane, the lane I need to be in.

She swerves to the exact middle of both lanes and slams on her brakes.

I of course slam on my brakes, which was a mistake really, I should have hit the gas and gone right through the old bat.

My car screetches (not really, we were only going about 30) to a halt sending my HUGE cd holder to the floor. Of the front passanger side.

I swear. I shake my fist at the bitch.

I pick up the cd case and find dust on a paper plate.

The skull is so completely smashed that there isn't even evidence of the huge front teeth.

I cried.

I came to work, called my mommy and cried some more.

I fucking hate morons.

Now, I'm a pretty aggressive driver, I'll give you that, but I do try to not ride the bumper of the person in front of me if I can help it because that never helps, and I do try to let people out that have been waiting, and I do slow down when there are people working, or children waiting for the bus stop but now...now that the evil traffic whores have wrecked my beautiful little skeleton? Now I will make it my mission to crush the skulls of anyone stupid enough to get in my way.

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