2003-10-21 - 11:46 a.m.

Did you ever go to your cd collection looking for something and flip through the whole thing, then start over and go through it again and then realize that you have no idea what you're looking for?

So then you go through it again, only slowly this time so you can really process each cd and see if that's what you're looking for, except none of them are?

I do this all the time.

You would think, seeing as how music is so important to me, that I'd have this huge cd collection only I don't. I almost never buy cd's.

The last two times I had this looking for something that wasn't there moment this is what happened:

Time before last, I ended up at some place in Worcester buying Lisa Marie Presley's cd (sucked), Janet Jackson's cd with If on it and a four cd set of Dean Martin. The Dean Martin got more play than any of the others.

The last time this happened (before today) I ended up at Newbury Comics. This time though was a little different because it was right before the infamous PA roadtrip and I was looking for driving music. That time I got two Til Tuesday's, NKOTB's greatest hits (I know, wrong on SO MANY LEVELS)and Melissa Ethridge's Brave and Crazy, oh and Ben Harper stuff. I don't even really remember all of the stuff I bought that day.

Now there have been a few short trips to the local shop in between, there was the "maybe I'm a lesbian, perhaps I should go buy more lesbian music" trip that really only resulted in one Melissa cd and a bunch of Ellen videos and then there was the trip after chatting with George about his Auntie Rose when I went and got one Rosemary clooney cd which I played the hell out of and thoroughly enjoyed.

Today driving to work (late) I realized that I had nothing worth listening to, nothing to fit my mood. I began thinking of where I could stop to buy something new, just one new thing that would perk up my day. Eventually I realized that if I went to work the old way I could hit Newbery Comics.

I began compiling a list in my head of the things I would look for because when I get into a music store, or a video store I instantly become a drooling idiot. I can't remember a single thing I want and just wander aimlessly for hours. I end up coming out with nothing most of the time.

I went in, list in my head and ran right into the "under $3.00" bin. Well, I mean, you have to look right?

So I picked up (sorry honey) NKOTB Face the Music. I know I have this somewhere and I know I could just get a new copy from one of you, but there it was just sitting there and it made me sad so I took it.

I made my way around the used cd's. I wandered to the new cd's. Rock, pop, country, easy listening, I was in shark mode.

I'll spare you the play by play, but suffice it to say I walked out of there with $125.79 worth of stuff.

Here's the list, sad as it may be.

2 Night of the Living Dead Dolls (I love these things)

Fiona Apple- Tidal (cause it has criminal on it and that's been going through my head for days)

REba's Greatest Hit's Volume 2 (I have this on cassette but needed the cd)

Rosemary Clooney Sentimental Journey

Pat Benetar-Heartbreaker

NKOTB-Face the Music

Dido- Life for Rent

and the box set of Duran Duran the Singles 1981-1985 because I have them all on VINYL and Charley keeps saying he's sending me the box set and NEVER DOES.

So if you look over that list I think you will be able to rest assured that you were right all along.

I'm crazy.

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