2005-01-18 - 11:59 a.m.

Okay all you D'landers, how annoying is that Domain hosting orange bar next to us?

I know I could just click on it and then it would stop being orange but I resent having to go see about domain hosting when I am completely uninterested in domain hosting.

All of that should serve to tell you one thing, I have nothing to say.

Nothing good anyway.

I had a three day weekend over which I mostly just tried to settle down after the horrible week before. Friday I was asleep by 6pm. SIX.

Of course I was up at 9pm and then went to bed at 4AM but the point is that at 6pm I was snoring on the sofa.

First I went to Barnes and Noble looking for something to read but there's nothing. I've gone twice now and I've come to realize that the problem is that I don't want to read. I don't want anything I just want everything to stop.

I haven't slept well which shouldn't be a surprise to anyone considering all that's gone on. My legs are killing me every time I lie down so now I'm constantly covering myself in Super Blue Stuff like a 90 year old.

That's not the worst of it though. The worst of it was the incessant dreams, if you can call them that. You know those little things that play over and over in your head when you're trying to sleep? Chasing you, haunting you?

Here's what my head was doing to me. I was filling in excel spreadsheets (not surprising given the green crab junk) over and over but the data was something (it was never clear exactly what but I know kissing factored in heavily) to determine whether I should dump Brad Pitt for Colin Farrell or the other way around.

My subconscious is a real kick in the head huh?

Any rate, saturday I did some shopping, bought some clothes, nothing too exciting but I did get a pair of jeans that I'm on the fence about. They have really great stitch designs going up the legs but the jeans themselves are faded in the front with I dunno, something akin to lines...very truculent 15 year old.

Saturday night I watched part of "A Home at the End of the World" with Colin because hey, if he's gonna keep me up at night anyway... I didn't finish it, but I found it a little raw. The unconventional family unit is a little close to home for me on many levels.

Sunday I barely remember. I know that it snowed late in the day but I couldn't tell you at all what I did during the day. I know I drove by a few places that held particular memories and I think that placed me in an introverted funk. I had a message on my phone from Slave Girl who I ran into in the store the other day. Funny how even when I'm grieving I want to stick my face in her nearly non existant cleavage.

I called Splink as we have something of a standing Sunday night date that I haven't honored in weeks, but I hung after her cell phone rang twice. I just couldn't talk.

I went home and watched Extreme Home Makeovers which is about the only thing that invokes any feelings in me at all of interest and excitement. Isn't that sad? A show about building a house and I'm all thrilled to see it.

Oh, I forgot to mention that last friday Ellen didn't tape because my closet is stupid. It was three days with no Ellen which was just so disappointing I don't even have words to tell you.

Sunday night, by the way, I also rolled coins until 4AM. That is twice in 2005 that I have rolled coins until 4AM and neither time have the coins been my own.

I had yesterday off. I was up all night with the legs and the spreadsheets and the dog. I slept at about 6:30 AM and until almost 2pm.

I rearranged living room furniture. It's much better now because the dog can lie down in more than one direction. We have a pretty good size living room but a really big dog and the old design wasn't really working to his advantage. It wasn't the reason we changed the room, but it was beneficial to him.

We also removed the tree from the room. We took it down a week ago but had it sitting in the corner (it's fake) until I could go up and get the box because we're throwing it away. It's new, prelit and 7.5 feet tall, we just hate it.

Smelly Cat was pissed that we took away her tree. She had no real interest in it when it was up and decorated but when we just sort of set it in pieces in the corner she took a real shine to it.

She'll get over it when she realizes that the new configuration will allow her to jump from the sofa to the top of my armoir to the top of the china (doll) cabinet.

yeah. I have a china cabinet full of dolls in my living room. They're all mine, but they aren't my idea. If Ty ever shows up the dolls are the first thing to go.

Last night I cleaned my closet, put new books and stuff on my shiny new bookshelves and then put up a new lamp in my room. It's a nightlight more than a lamp, but it's cute, it's a leopard print handbag with a bead clutch handle. Shut up, I like it.

Then I settled in to watch Ellen. Which taped, thank God. That hour goes by way too quickly, she needs to be on for days.

Oh, I forgot, I also watched "Extreme Makeover How'd They Do That" because if that show was on all day every day it wouldn't be enough for me. I've developed a real crush on Paul but he hasn't been on the past few episodes. Instead they have this english guy Ed doing the carpentry and I love him too. All I'm saying though is that if they ever do my house I want Preston doing exteriors but he's not allowed to touch my room, neither are the girls. It has to be Ty, Michael and Paul all they way.

For someone with nothing to say I've rambled quite alot today huh?

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