2005-05-31 - 1:00 p.m.

You would think that with all the time I've spent away I'd have bunches of junk to say.

I don't.

See, here's the thing about not updating your diary, you start to just think these thoughts and then obsess on some of them until they become understandable only by you...here, let me give you an example. Here's what's keeping me up at night (seriously, I haven't been to sleep before 5AM in a week and this is all that runs through my head...

Bo Bice has a hairy round belly and it's the sexiest thing in the world.

See? Now maybe if you had been in on all the Bo Bice drivel running through my head from the begining, in little bits and drivels in various entries day to day that would have had some weight behind it.

It doesn't.

You just see it as another weird piece of brain fluff, but for me that is like, well, like I said, keeping me up at night.

So then you start to think, well, I won't write about that because they won't get it and I'll have to write a whole bunch of how I got to the point of not being able to sleep because I'm lying awake picturing Bice tied to a whipping post with his belly hair hanging out.

So you sit and try to think what to write.

And there's nothing to say.

Because all you can think about is how he got that new tattoo on his wrist and how sexy it would be to see that tattoo with rope around it.

Oh, and I'm officially too fat to type.


While I was away I apparently gained a bunch of weight, in my boobs. Now they're in the way when I try to type.


Bet you thought you missed me until you read this huh?

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