2005-02-23 - 2:25 p.m.

And yes, it's here at last.

101 Things About OOMM

1. oomm is not my real name.
2. My real name is way more stupid.
3. The nicest thing anyone ever said to me was ďYou? But youíre not a bitch.Ē
4. Even though I totally am and love being a bitch.
5. Cutters fascinate me.
6. I know within 30 seconds of meeting you whether you would be a good slave.
7. I know within 10 seconds of meeting you whether you would be a good trainer.
8. I went through a lot of years of my life thinking the wrong guy was the right guy.
9. I no longer truly believe there is a right guy.
10. Iím pretty sure there could be a right girl.
11. I have a ton of celebrity crushes even though Iím completely unimpressed with celebrity.
12. I love people for their flaws much more than their strengths.
13. I drink soda way more than can possibly be good for me.
14. Gil Grissom (csi) is my perfect boyfriend/husband. William Petersen (actor who plays him) makes my skin crawl.
15. Nothing is ever easy with me.
16. Iím afraid of clowns.
17. Iím especially afraid of the clown in Poltergeist.
18. I have a very complex system of whether to stay friends with someone based on all sorts of things.
19. Iím so good at dropping friends itís almost ridiculous.
20. I need constant attention.
21. Except when I want to be left alone.
22. Only one person alive has figured out how to tell the difference.
23. And one person is trying his heart out, bless him.
24. Jordan is not ďMr. RightĒ but he will always be Ďthe oneí, as in Ďthe one I go to when Iím too freaked out by everythingí Ďthe one I go to when I have really goofy happy stuff that Iíd be embarrassed to say in front of anyone elseí Öyou get the idea.
25. Even though I say I donít I completely regret dating Nick that last time. I donít believe Iíve ever been this bitter about a break up and it isnít good for me.
26. My soul mate is a middle aged pop star whose wife loves me just as much as he does.
27. I have a big ďDo as I say not as I doĒ mentality toward people.
28. I really love it when people do what they were meant to do for a living, like Ellen was born to be a talk show host and Wendiloo was born to help people not be in pain.
29. Iím super-opinionated but also very good at admitting when Iím wrong.
30. Which happens frequently.
31. I always tell myself that I donít care.
32. Except that I do.
33. I hate that I do.
34. The phrase ďAnd his eyeballs fell outĒ will make me laugh until something unseemly comes out of my nose.
35. Splink can make me laugh by just saying ďvirgilĒ
36. Inside jokes make me happy, but I usually forget them.
37. Sometimes I fight with ignorant people for sport, temporarily forgetting that itís exhausting.
38. I like strong women
39. I like effeminate men.
40. I totally dig the taste of original Theraflu as long as you stick sugar in it.
41. I absolutely like dogs better than people. Even dogs I donít know over most people that I do.
42. You know how people say they wish they had a gun in traffic? I honestly do. And Iíd honestly be in prison because
43. I have no impulse control
44. I think Paul DiMeo and Dr. Drew Pinski are two of the sexiest men on the planet.
45. I donít understand marriage.
46. I love shrinky dinks.
47. and magnets.
48. I own a bedazzler. Swear.
49. I avoided watching American Idol for 3 seasons because I knew this would happen:
50. I love Simon and think he may also be my perfect husband.
51. I used to call all of the squirrels in the Boston Public Gardens either Fred or Randy. Fredís were fat, Randyís were thin.
52. I collect soap, perfume bottles, Living Dead Dolls and pet fur (that last one mostly on my wardrobe)
53. Iíve been told by two separate people that they wish they could keep me in their pockets.
54. There is more Duran Duran in my music collection than any other singer or band, though I think Shaun Cassidy makes a close second.
55. I donít wear a lot of jewelry but I love rings and feel naked without at least 2
56. I honestly believe that my dog is the cutest dog alive
57. I totally dig Barry Manilow though I would not ever call myself a Fanilow.
58. I would own a house full of HUGE dogs if I could.
59. I canít watch hockey (when there is hockey) because goalies are stupid.
60. Until a few months ago I only ever wore sandals, even in the snow.
61. I was never supposed to walk again.
62. I love to wear anklets but think they look cheap on everyone else.
63. I hate people who watch me but love people who ask me questions.
64. I feed the birds and squirrels every morning before I leave for work.
65. I quit smoking years ago but would still rather have a cigarette than food.
66. Iím constantly shopping new careers.
67. I want to know how you get a job writing for Hallmark.
68. I will either listen to the same song over and over and over again, or not be able to find a single thing to listen to and change cdís and radio stations incessantly. There is no middle ground.
69. I started off way back when on a high horse about reality tv sucking and saying Iíd never watch it.
70. I am addicted to Reality Television.
71. I could pole dance at the age of 8.
72. I was really fascinated by hookers by the time I was 10.
73. I think itís really sexy when someone I think of as cute and sweet says ďfuckĒ
74. If I were on a reality show Iíd want it to be Extreme Makeover Home Edition, but Iíd refuse to leave the areaÖif Paul and Ty are going to be here, why am I leaving?
75. Iíve been offered a full scholarship to study voice.
76. And a record contract.
77. I turned down both because I think itís boring to sing for a living.
78. Iím pretty sure I have at least 2 decent books in me, if I could just buckle down and write them.
79. My favorite font is Chiller.
80. I hate it when I take the time to give someone a well thought out answer to a question and they donít respond or respond with no thought.
81. I frequently start things I know I wonít finish just to get them out of the way in my head.
82. I missed my only surprise party.
83. I love people who challenge me intellectually but Iím afraid to interact with them.
84. I enjoy being a mentor.
85. I am very difficult to mentor but love to have one when they are truly spectacular.
86. Iím super into texture and once made out with someone I wasnít into because I wanted to play on his sheets.
87. If I go more than a week without mashed potatoes I get cranky.
88. If I donít wear a watch I never miss it but when I do wear one I check it obsessively.
89. I love people who do not allow me to bullshit them.
90. I understand alcoholics and fight like hell most days to not allow myself to join their ranks.
91. The meaner I am to people the more I like them.
92. The nicer I am to people the better the odds are that I hate them.
93. If I am able to flirt with someone well the odds are Iím not interested in them.
94. Iím addicted to research. Iíll research anything for anyone. I love the digging.
95. I have more compassion for animals than humans.
96. I forget to ask people how they are after theyíve asked me how I am.
97. Because Iím essentially immensely self involved.
98. I hate people who canít get to the point in a story.
99. I have never, ever gotten directly to the point of a story.
100. I wish I could stop eating meat but I canít.
101. I was, for a period of time, obsessed with the soon to be cult classic carnie movie "Two Moon Junction"

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