2004-10-04 - 3:23 p.m.

It's hard to know what to wish for sometimes.

Some things that should be easy aren't always.

It's hard not to take some stuff personally that may, in fact have nothing to do with you.

Hmmm, maybe it's the having nothing to do with you that's harder than if it's personal.

Okay, codetalker...what are we talking about?

Don (if you're new here...shortest possible update, Don=love of my life, but married and complicated) is going to start filming a show in Ma after xmas.


Now obviously, I want him to be able to have a show, and I know he's always wanted to film something here, but at the same time...too close for comfort, or too comfortable to be close.

If this were a year ago it would have made all the difference in the world, and I know, I understand that these things take time, but now...

When he told me I flashed right back to that day on the bridge, the day that changed us forever because I couldn't call him, because I couldn't pick up the phone and know that the one person who would make me safe and warm and all of that was too far away and too complicated...

If he had been shooting here then that day wouldn't have happened.

If he had made the decision to shoot here sooner, not that it has been his decision in the past, but if it had been his decision to be here...

If. Useless word. He didn't.

He and Kim appear to be getting along pretty well again, though I have no idea how she feels about shooting here. I can't imagine that she loves the idea, even if you take me out of the equation. Her work is in L.A.

So, do I hope that he gets his wish, tapes here and we...

uh, we what?

You know I've been saying lately that I can't picture myself in a long term relationship with a man ever again, but I think everyone is smart enough to know that this is only true for as long as Don and I stay away from each other.

Him I can picture being happy with forever.

Otherwise, Latifah give me a call baby.

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