2006-12-11 - 3:59 p.m.

I don't know why I drink things that I'm sure I won't like and then try to tell myself that having it was a treat.

I like gingerbread. I like it in a loaf with frosting on it and I like it shaped like a little man with frosting on it and okay, I probably just like frosting but gingerbread makes a really nice way to get frosting into my face without having to just sit there with a can of frosting and a spoon which isn't really all that socially acceptable.

I'm not a big fan of ginger though. So if my gingerbread is more ginger and less frosting I'm not really happy.

Today after QUITE the weekend (we'll get there) on my way to CVS to pick up my prescription for nasal spray because my ear feels worse and the doctor has decided he's done all he can with antibiotics (you girls all know what antibiotics bring as a sideshow right? Full effect.) so he'll have me try shoving something in my nostrils instead (in a timely fashion I received a text message this morning from Brock with a 'snot joke. See, this is why I love him. I know I shouldn't but I really love when people mean it's not and instead they say 'snot so working that into a little rhyme was a big score for old Brock) (all of these parenthesis are making this a mighty long and difficult to follow sentence but I trust you to be of the right intellectual stuff to plug along) I stopped at Dunkin Donuts and bought myself a Gingerbread Latte.

I'm not a big fan of the latte in general because to me it defeats the purpose. Coffee to me is best when it's very black and very bitter and hiding about 18 packets of sugar. (Surprised? thought not.)

I realized as I approached the window that they had both hot and iced versions and while I believed that hot gingerbread would be far superior in every way to iced gingerbread I still went with the iced because I'm not really all that big a fan of hot beverages in the end.

Did I want whipped cream?

Depends, can you squeeze the contents of one of the vanilla filled donuts on top instead? No? Okay then, fillerup with whipped cream.

Then they topped the thing with cinnamon. Let me just put this out there. Not everything you consume in the month of december needs to be topped with cinnamon. Even if it has whipped cream on it.

I drank the thing quicker than I thought I would and the entire time I kept thinking, "I knew this was gonna suck."

You wouldn't think a girl could use so many words to say she got a latte on the way to work this morning but I can. It's a gift.

Sometimes I get tired of typing so you don't get all the little asides but if you know me in person you know that I'm all about the asides.

Now about that weekend. My aunt's boiler died. I kept calling it her furnace and they keep calling it a boiler and I don't really know the difference but it heats her house, not her water but apparenetly a water heater is a water heater and not a boiler so what the hell is a furnace?

Anyway, it died and of course the whole thing becomes my issue to deal with and naturally her basement is chock full of asbestos so I spent my weekend learning all about how to get rid of asbestos and get a new boiler/furnace/heaterthingy.

In the meantime my aunt moved in with me. She's been there since thursday night and won't be out until tuesday night at the earliest.

My aunt is 83 and missed her calling as a sports commentator. Every move everyone in my house makes is narrarated, usually twice and then commented on later.

An example:

Where's the cat? Oh, the cat is sleeping over there. See the cat? She's sleeping. Just over there. By that vent. Hi CAt! Oh now she's moving. She's walking out of the room. Where is she going? Where did the cat go? Oh, are you going to sit back in that chair now? ARe you tired? ARe you sitting back because you're tired? You go to bed too late that's why you're so...oh the cat's back. The cat came back. I wonder where she went. Maybe she got a drink. She drinks from the dogs dish even though she has her own. She drinks right from his dish.She drinks from the dish in front of the vent too she has her own dish but she drinks that water from that dish. She's going to sit there now, by the chair. She's sitting by the chair. what are you doing kitty? Are you sitting by the chair? You know your mother came to bed last night and I was just lying there, I wasn't sleeping I was just lying there and she came in and got into her bed and she was only in bed a few minutes and she started to snore. Just like that she started to snore.She had only been in bed a few minutes. I had been in bed for 4 hours but I wasn't sleeping. She went to sleep just like that. What? What are you saying? You look tired. Are you tired? You should call Aunt Frances and tell her to not bring me the paper. Oh I'm done with this paper now too, you can go throw it away. What are you doing? What's in your hand. Your mothers hair is so long, look at your mothers hair. Oh Ketos yawned. ARe you tired Ketos? They watch too much tv and make you tired Ketos. You're a good boy Ketos.

You see, you think I'm exaggerating for comic effect but that's an actual transcript. WEll, no it isn't really because I left some stuff out. This is honestly though, like 2 mintues worth of stuff, this is all in one breath.

I'm ready for her to not live at my house anymore which is why I got my ass out of bed and started calling the DEP at dawn to get a waiver to get the asbestos out today instead of later in the week.

While I spent my weekend running back and forth to her house ("I left my pills at home" "No you didn't I told you to bring them, Cheryl said you brought them, they're here, just look in your bag" "I looked in my bag but I forgot them, they're at home" I drive to her house at midnight, there are no pills there, I return to my house to find her sitting asleep in a chair with the pills next to her when I wake her she says "I found my pills". This went on and on all weekend plus meeting the asbestos boy and the gas company girl and taking everyone christmas shopping and trying to go to the doctor even though they were closed...anyway, while I did all of that my Uncle calls and starts asking about a book my cousin wants. Being the only reader in a 50 mile radius he thinks I can A. Tell him what the book is about B. Tell him how to go about buying the book which is just a veiled way of saying, Hey, go buy this book for me.

Tomorrow I'm going to meet the gas company at her house at 8 to let them put in the furnace.

I have thursday off from work. I get to go to the doc for the still black toe, take my aunt to the doctor because in addition to her other many charming attributes she vomits without warning and then do 3 years worth of back taxes for some lady I never met and then swing by the bookstore to do my uncle's Christmas shopping.

Maybe on the way there I'll treat myself to a tasty beverage.

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