2004-04-14 - 11:52 a.m.

When my dog's new best friend takes his leave (after an hour long discussion of my new car and the fact that ford has come out with a new hybrid suv)I immediately call Norm.

Much in the way they did at cheers. I didn't even use the phone I just shouted it.

Do it now, you know you want to:


Gleeful right?

So I call Norm and tell him what irish boy said and he says Irish boy is a feck and that he'll come by at 3:30 when he gets out of work to see what he can do.

Somewhere around 5pm someone knocks at my door. It is a less handsome, but not unhandsome irishman and a smallish 7 year old boy.

Um. Yes?

I'm supposed to look at your furnace.


Yeah. Norm wanted me to look.

Uh, okay. Let me tie the drooling beast away.

The drooling beast is especially fond of children but this one looks frailish and I'm worried the beast will knock him down.

The beast is locked away and the father and son team are led to the basement.

The dad looks around making clucking noises about the ductwork. His 2 way beeps and it is Norm who is SHOCKED that dad/son team beat him to the house.

I go outside to wait for Norm.

Meanwhile my neighbor who knows Norm has arrived home from work and has stopped by to say hello. Norm arrives, neighbor and NOrm have a little chat and then yet another testosterone filled truck arrives in front of my home. This time a portly older man identified as "Paul" hops out and immediately begins giving grief to Norm.

They have an act they should take on the road.

They join the father/son duo in the basement and it is like a sitcom.

I stay in the corner, watching in amazement as the group of them talk over each other, agree when they're saying the exact opposite thing and measure EVERYTHING. They measured air molecules. They measured the distance they could leap across the room and how high they could lift their fingertips if they were standing on their heads. boys and rulers...

They talked about estimates and when they could start the work. They'd get us an estimate tomrrow, they'd start the work next week.

Uh. Next week? Little chilly no?

Norm says he'll get the furnace going but it won't have a blower so it'll just have to drift up.

Paul has a stroke saying he can't start the furnace we'll die of CO poisoning. Norm says he'll clean the furance and we'll be fine.

Paul says he's going home. Paul thinks Norm's going to kill us all and he wants no part of it.

Paul is the only one smart enough to be afraid of the drooling beast.

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