2006-03-23 - 11:28 a.m.

I've noticed a funny trend.

Well, first I've noticed that I have tennis crochet elbow which is NOT a funny trend, but I digress.

As I was driving to work this morning I got a phone call, the person who called, and the subject of the call was something that Friend S would have loved to hear.

My first instinct was to come to work and sent Friend S an email about it but then I realized that Friend S and I aren't really so much Friends anymore.

This happens now and then.

I have friends that I see once in awhile and if we don't see each other or talk for even a year in between, that doesn't mean anything, we're still friends.

Friend S and I have not spoken for months before and still been as good friends as ever but this time is different.

The last time I talked to Friend S she was waxing poetic and defensive about how she valued friendship and how she was willing to work at her friendships.

This is a girl who has gone out of her way on many occasions to show me how much she loves me.

The kiss of death.

Well, maybe that's not so well put considering my death theory.

Anyway, I started to think about my friends through the years, the ones that stuck and the ones that didn't.

Interestingly the friends who leave, or who I cut without warning or explanation are always the ones who have professed to me their undying devotion. They are the friends who passionately vow to be my bff and to avenge the wrongs done to me by so called friends of the past.

I have no idea what it is about me that would inspire these women to pledge such things. I certainly don't do it. I don't tell them that I will be their friend throught thick and thin, I don't promise to slay their enemies. I can barely remember to ask them how their weekends were.

I did, one time tell one person that I felt that our friendship could withstand anything because she had proven to me that she was the type of person I could count on forever.

I mean, I was drunk on kiwi-mango margarita's when I said it, but I meant it at the time.

I cut her, dead to me, less than a year later and I tend to forget she exists unless someone brings her name up.

The friendships that tend to last for me (with women, my friendships with men are completely different and SO MUCH easier) are the ones in which neither of us does these big professions. We don't talk about being there for one another. We don't need to make sunshine for each other.

Oddly, my closest female friend (family aside cause I think my mom is actually my best friend, and that's nice) is a woman who I get aggrivated with, who I want to smack in the head, and who I know for a fact I piss the hell out of.

We don't walk on eggshells, we don't pull punches, we don't pretend things are gonna be rainbows forever. We don't tell each other that we'll always be able to count on one another (though I suspect we will). We just live our lives and continue to be enriched by knowing one another.

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