Whew! Today's been busy.

Let's go back to yesterday though, before we really hit today.

I don't know why I didn't talk about this yesterday but my day at work (?) started when I checked my voice mail for the day.

I'd love to give you the voice mail verbatum but I'll settle, since it was long, for hitting the high points.

The Bug calls at 5:30AM to say that he's pissed off because he can't open the gate (my work has a big iron gate that is locked when we are not here) to get his truck.

His key will go half way in "So I know I'm putting it in the right way."

Freeze frame.

I know I'm putting it in the right way?

How many ways are there to put a key in a padlock? I must be missing something.

Proceed.

"There's always something wrong here."

Freeze.

A little background for you. To educate you. The Bug is an employee of the college which owns, more or less, the land etc. that my little lab lives on. He is on a leave of absence from the school and has no intention of returning.

The Bug now works for another State Agency doing Bug things. To facilitate the Bug things the State has given him a truck for work. He lives in an apartment and has one parking space, therefor, no where to park said truck.

He asked if he could park it here and we agreed. He has keys to the gate and to the building. We get nothing from this arrangement, unless you count the annoyance of him parking his truck NOT where he was instructed to park it but instead right in front of our generator making it very difficult for our friendly generator fixer person to get to it. (The generator, not the truck, he has pretty easy access to the truck so maybe he should change professions to friendly truck fixer persons and then we'd all be okay).

He has complained many times in the past about the gate being locked when he comes back at 8pm. Listen, when we leave, if the lab is empty, we lock the gate. We are on the ocean, we have a lovely beach and picnic benches. In the summer, if we didn't lock the gates we'd have all sorts of people down here frolicing...there are just so many problems with leaving the gate open. And anyway, we're doing him the favor, the least he can do is get off his fat ass and open his own gate.

I digress.

If there's always something wrong here then find another place for your truck. We don't need your aggrivation.

Unfreeze.

"My guess is that something got lodged inside and nobody has dealt with it...there's something wrong with the lock can you please have someone look at it? It's very early and 5 below zero, you want things to work."

Freeze.

We've said a few things here. His guess is that something got lodged inside and no one has dealt with it.

I know you're jumping ahead. You know what's wrong with the lock. Everyone in the free world knows what's wrong with the lock, but hold that in suspension won't you, while we examine the first part of this...

Maybe there is something lodged in there. How might it have gotten there? Does he thing we lodged it in there and then said, "ha ha, he won't be able to get in?" IF something were lodged in there wouldn't you, if you were a reasonable person, instead of calling ME and bitching to ME about it, since I'm going to get this message, oh, let's be optimistic and say around 10:30 AM, wouldn't you call the college police? or the facilities department?

No one has dealt with it? No. No one has. Since YOU, asshole, were the first person to find it YOU, asshole, should have dealt with it instead of passing the buck, like you are accusing US of doing. YOU, you whiny windbag asshole, should have called someone who could helped you or...

Moving ahead to state the obvious here...

NOTICED THAT IT'S 5 BELOW STUPID AND FIGURED THE LOCK WAS FROZEN

asshole.

Unfreeze

"Sorry to be whining and I know I ask for alot"

Freeze.

Shut the fuck up with the passive aggressive shit.

So you would think a grown man in his 40's with a Ph.D in SCIENCE could work this one out for himself but he can't because I've said it before and I'll say it again, when you get you're Ph.D you get your logic lobe removed.

But wait...there's more...

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