2004-01-29 - 2:13 p.m.

People Magazine should mind it's own damn business.

Sigh.

I was just talking to someone at work about how a certain friend of mine cannot make a move without it showing up in papers and magazines. We were discussing how it makes life difficult for everyone around them and how neither of us could live that life.

I always seem to find myself dancing on the sidelines of it, which is my own fault.

I lead this insanely normal life on one side and then on the other...

I've talked about this before. It's like there are two of me.

Neither wants to live in the spotlight, but that other side loves boys(?) who are there.

I hadn't really planned on this entry being about that but, hey, let's see where it goes, there's always backspace right?

I usually pass it off as an attraction to people who are artistic. That's true, I like the creative temperment there's no doubt about that. There's alot of stuff that comes with that.

I think what attracts me most of all is the appreciation that my boys who either are, or have been in the past, in the public eye, have for my ability to make them have a sense of home and normalcy when they're around me.

I enjoy being able to give them that. That's like a drug for me. Being someone's shelter.

Charley and I both have a real thing for the word Shelter.

I love giving that to people who need it, and to be honest, that's the one thing that attracts me most to someone who always tops my Top Ten Men List.

(Wow, this is totally taking turns I didn't expect)

George C...I'll let you in on a little secret, I don't find him all that attractive. Sometimes I do, sometimes he takes my breath away, but most of the time, it's more about who he is as a person, how down to earth and funny and all that stuff...

Under it all though, the thing that I find absolutely most attractive about George? He needs shelter more than anyone I've ever met. This man needs somewhere to feel safe.

The sexiest thing about George?

He sleeps in the back of a closet.

What I wouldn't do to be able to provide him the saftey he needs to come out and sleep in the sun.

It's what kept me with Jordan for so long and what's likely to draw me back to him again one day, the fact that I'm his shelter and I have, on occasion allowed him to be mine.

Being my shelter is a full time job, as the one or two people who have been allowed to undertake it over the years will tell you. The one person who has excelled at it is the one person who tortures me more than any other.

This isn't about him though.

This was more about Boy Wonder who is also someone who has been on both the giving and receiving end of my shelter and is trying to strike a rather delicate balance in his life at this time.

It can be so hard to try to be careful of someones feelings while getting on with your life in even the best of situations. When you're doing it in People Magazine it makes it that much more difficult to find your way.

But at least he knows where there's Shelter.

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