I'm a bad doggie mommy.

I let Ketos, the (by now it must be up to 160 pound) dog who shares my space out to do his business at 1:45AM as I was ready to go to bed.

He went out, screwed around, went down back where he isn't allowed to go and then came in.

He looked at the biscuit container. We have special "poop" biscuits that he gets when he does a poop outside. This began when he was a pup and we never had the heart to stop, so if he goes out and just pee's there's no reward, but stink up the neighborhood and there's a big juicy biscuit in it for you.

I wasn't going to give him one because I wasn't sure if he went and if he did it wasn't where he is allowed to go. He continued to look and I compromised with half a biscuit and then sent him off to bed.

At 4AM I heard him get down from his bed and go to the kitchen where he drank from his bowl and then barked. One loud bark.

Unlike him. Usually he's pretty quiet if he get's up in the night, even if he wants out, he'll just lay in the kitchen because he knows I heard him go there.

I was mad though, because he had been let out and if he didn't take care of business then he scammed me out of half a biscuit.

I'm not rewarding that behavior so I gruffly told him to "Go to bed."

He did.

Approximately 45 minutes later he was back. His water bowl was empty but he licked the bottom anyway. Then he barked again. One loud bark.

If figured I'd get more sleep just getting up and letting him out then I would battling wills with him all night so I got up. The cat came with us, which is usual in the summer but not in the winter. She stuck pretty close by him.

He went out, pooped and then tried to head toward the back. I yelled. He ignored me, then reluctantly came back to where he should be. There was no more pooping. Just standing and staring into space. I tell him to come inside. He ignores me.

Ketos hates to be left outside alone. He won't bark, but he hates it. I decided to punish him. I left him outside. I went back inside and shut off the light. I gave him a few minutes to think I'd left him out there for the night and then went and got him.

When I did I didn't speak at all. I didn't pat him. I didn't give him any eye contact whatsoever. there was no special "mommy and me" moment reward in the middle of the night for his antics.

I went to bed. Normally I would walk him to his bed first and cover him up. I didn't but he waited for me to.

I laid in bed for another 45 minutes listening and waiting for him to get into bed. He didn't.

I decided I couldn't let him sleep on the floor, his hip is bad and he has a cold. I went out and shut off the light outside. He just laid looking at me, sad as you please from the living room floor.

I didn't look him in the eye. I went back to bed. When he still didn't go to bed 15 minutes later I got up and walked him, in the dark into his room. I picked up his blanket and told him to get into bed.

He balked. I encouraged. He got into bed, I covered him and turned to leave. Then I registered that when I'd picked up the blanket it had been a little wet.

This dog does not have accidents in the house.

Then I noticed in the moonlight dark spots on the carpet.

Then I put on the light and was horrified to find that my baby had thrown up, all over his bed and the floor. And I had forced him to climb back into the bed and then covered him with it.

Needless to say much kissing, appologizing and cleaning followed.

And ginger snaps because they make everything better.

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