Remember yesterday when I was talking about the person who had all the fancy schmancy techie stuff to do the analysis of all of the data I've been killing myself with? The one who got it to me about 2 days after I needed it and 2 seconds after I finished going on without it?

Yeah.

So I'm working from home today and I was under the impression that while I was working on the abstract for my presentation the KOI was working on the actual paper which is of sickeningly huge importance.

I should know better. Let's face it, even you knew he wasn't working on it.

So he calls me this morning and 8 and says, so you'll be writing the paper today so it's ready to show Jack on friday right?

Uh. I was kinda thinking we'd figure out how to finish the abstract today.

Oh, right, but after that, then you'll write that report right?

I have tomorrow off.

I know most of you have never and blissfully will never write a scientific report. Let me share with you how this works in short.

You take about 3 weeks out of your life and you crunch data. Then you take about 2 weeks of blood, sweat and tears and you write it. Then you show it to a bunch of colleagues who rip it to shreds and you start over.

That's the ending portion anyway.

He hits me with this this morning. He wants it by friday. I have tomorrow off.

Okay.

He goes to my office and looks at the data from South Shore Guy (SSG) which is the big statistical analysis on which we will base our lives.

He calls me at 11. SSG's total number is 2000 off from my total number.

This colors every single other piece of data.

Shriek.

Which one of us is correct?

Well, he's the one with all the fancy schmancy.

I sit from 11:04AM until 2:40 pm and I recount every single piece of data. My phone rings. SSG just checked his data, he screwed up a couple of the sheets cause instead of using his fancy shcmancy he tried to do it by hand. (Like I did it, only apparently without the ability to add.)

So good. Now I can move foreward right?

Wrong. SSG also only sent me half of his data set. I've asked for the full data set over and over and still don't have it. It's 4:35. When do they expect me to write this report exactly?

DIE ALL OF YOU!

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