So yeah, that pretty accurately depicts how she looked for most of the trip.

I knew the dining room thing was going to be a problem because it's "family style" and she isn't really the friendly type.

Somehow I had convinced myself that she would make an effort because she was so excited about the cruise, the cruise was her idea for heaven's sake, and I figured that if she really didn't want to be even a little friendly then she wouldn't be packing stuff for the dining room experience.

Wrong.

We went that first night, and by the way, the outfit I had on was kick ass only you'll never know it because I had to throw on the only sweater I had. There is a rule on my cruise ship that goes like this:

If it's the middle of the afternoon and the sun is beating down on the ship and everyone is melting you must have zero air conditioning available. The absolute second that the sun goes down it is imperitive that you turn the entire interior of the boat to a block of ice because now everyone is sunburned and has chills and will likely be wearing something sleeveless to dinner. When we are certain that every passenger is sleeping in the warmest clothing they have, tucked under two extra blankets and the entire stock of towels from the bathroom (true, it was the only way to get warm) we will turn on the heat so high that it we will be able to charge for in room sauna privledges.

Hmmm, tangental girl strikes again...

We arrive on the staircase outside of our dining room. Again it is the cattle situation. Herds of us decide to line up in a very orderly fashion at the two doors that at the given time will magically open to the dining area.

when the magical doors open we are informed that all cattle....er...passengers with odd numbered rooms are to line up on the left, even on the right.

This is a mess. Everyone is jumping lines and mooooving to the front even though others have waited for nearly an hour.

Pandemonium. Irritation.

We are seated. A few people are already at our table, more arrive shortly.

The lucky couple sitting next to COSGU is from Salem Ma, they were married saturday night and flew into Tampa on sunday, here it is monday and they're so excited for their honeymoon cruise. Okay, so I could live without the honeymooners, but I make nice. I ask about where they had the wedding since I work in Salem and where they work and what they do.

COSGU stares straight ahead. When we make introductions she lets me talk and barely turns toward people.

To my direct left are a couple on their 10 anniversary cruise. They have left the "little ones" home for the first time. They are really into asking everyone if they are married. I fear for their lives when they turn the question to COSGU.

Filling out the table are geriatric couple and their children all of Indian decent (not american indian, india indian). They seem friendly and amusing but are difficult to understand. The eldest woman insists on her own curry combination which she has left in her room. No other curry or seasoning will do.

COSGU doesn't want to order because nothing on the menu seems worthy. There is EVERYTHING on the menu.

She orders, what is essentially chicken tenders and whispers to me to get the same because it will be "fast" and we can "get back to the bar".

I order appetizers, a steak, and dessert.

She stops speaking to anyone at the table including me and just sits with her hands in her lap staring directly ahead of her.

Our head waiter is a comic and pretends to spill hot coffee on her. She tells him to get away from her.

Wheeeee vacation!

That was the last time we ate in the dining hall.

It didn't break my heart to be honest, the food was bland and the people at the table were too married, but I would have sucked it up on lobster night, or on gown night, just to see how everyone was dressed.

We ran into the newlyweds on Grand Caymen and they told us they were worried for us. They didn't understand why we never came to dinner again. I said "My roommate hates you all." She said, "We kinda hated her too."

Me too.

And then there was the non eating time...

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