2004-03-29 - 2:01 p.m.

And so it went. Him saying he didn't want to be in a relationship, me saying he was too young. Meanwhile we were together almost always.

I remember another day that kind of blew my mind. He went off to get us burgers, I just asked him to bring me a cheese burger. I have never ordered a fast food burger with anything extra or without anything that it comes with. I am not one of those complicated orderers.

When he came back with the burger I opened it to remove the pickle. There was no pickle. I commented, huh...no pickle. Wim says, no, you don't eat them, I ordered it without pickles.

I remembered that all these years. It's the little things. The attention to detail, those are the things that win our hearts boys (and girls).

So many Wim stories.

Wim would put up with absolutely NONE of my bullshit.

He'd walk in and find me taking a knife to my wrist and ask if I was enjoying myself. If I'd make a show of not wanting him to see something he'd make a big deal of how much I wanted him to see it. Never let me get away with anything.

The other way was true too. If something was truly wrong and I was covering he stopped at nothing to get it out of me.

Most of you know the story of the day he jumped over Mark and Gretchen, as they walked down the stairs, litteraly jumped over them, grabbed me by the hair caveman style and dragged me to the kitchen ordering everyone else out of the house. Not letting me leave until he was confident that he knew what my damage was.

I had lied, but he bought it.

I never told him what my damage was, that it was him.

Fire escape night, that was the first time he dated anyone else seriously and he would always tell me about it. I let it slip. I screwed up and I let him see how annoyed I was by her.

As soon as he saw it he used it.

The hand. That upper hand.

Later, in another story everyone knows, we had dinner, Wim, his girlfriend of the moment, a mutual friend Christopher and Matt and myself. At this point Matt and I had become as much of a couple as a straight(ish) girl and gay boy can be.

At that dinner we started to talk about the great loves of our lives...the one who got away.

I talked about Jeff but Wim talked about me. I didn't even realize it was me he was talking about until Matt pointed it out to me on the drive home.

I figured he said it to flirt, to be wim.

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