2004-12-23 - 12:50 p.m.

Last night did not go exactly according to plan.

First I got a call from home saying, by the way we forgot to put X and Y on the grocery list and oh, by they way, I told Aunt F that she should get Aunt E a radio for christmas but she went out and looked and couldn't find one that didn't have a cd player.

That was code for, while you're out running a million errands, get these things too.

So, of course I did.

Being the jolly elf that I am I left a trail of luminescent holiday cheer in my wake.

Oh, no wait, that wasn't me.

I was the one grumbling and screaming at the grocery store that all children should be on leashes and all old people should stay home between the months of Jan. and Dec.

I barked at someone for walking too close to me. Seriously, some lady was tailgaiting my ass walking through the grocery store. I had a cart, she did not. There are a billion people in front of us, the aisle is only wide enough for you to be in a line and this bitch is stepping on me. Finally I pull to the side as we break the aisle and she FLIES around me at which point I ram my carriage right up to a breath behind her ass and tail her like my life depends on it. She finally spins and heads in the opposide direction, obviously to see if I'll just walk past but I'm not following for that shit, I stay right on her. Finally she just stops where I could just go around her and looks back at me.

I look at her innocently and say "Oh, what? Is it annoying when I'm right up your ass? I only did it because I kind of liked it when you were doing it to me and I thought we were sort of starting a relationship. I was going to bring you home to meet the family."

You should have seen her face.

That's right asswipe, don't fuck with me I have no line I won't cross. I WILL throw down right here in the middle of Market Basket because I'm just that close to snapping.

So I bought all of the junk I needed, went and bought a radio for the aunt to give the other aunt, and then went home.

You would think supper would be waiting when I got there like it usually is but it wasn't. So I sat and waited for supper to be cooked, just sort of staring into space.

I ate and then was going to nap for 15 minutes but that turned into 3 and a half hours of alternately sleeping and staring.

At, I don't even know what time, Wendiloo called to give me the good news that I don't have to go there and beat the living bejeepers out of someone. Chatting with her woke me up and I began frosting the gingerbread cookies while we talked.

I've taken cake decorating classes. I can't do it. I suck, end of story. I did what I could do (oh, I should take a picture of them, only I'm guessing Dobie has eaten them by now).

I only frosted enough to bring to work and then, off the phone decided I had to wrap. While I was wrapping family member decided to make fudge.

It's after midnight.

So she mades 2 pans of fudge (I get to eat the sides of the pot with a spoon which is the ONLY way to eat fudge) and I start wrapping the few things I needed to take to work with me today.

Except one of Boob's presents isn't there. And I KNOW It was there cause I saw it two days ago. One of her presents is in the back seat of my car, this I know, but where is the one I need to wrap?

I tear the house apart, it's like 2am now. I can't find it. My only thought is that family member who is a wrapping maniac may have wrapped it and labeled it as Wendiloo's as wendiloo got similar but not nearly same. (Though in retrospect wendiloo would have probably liked same very much)

Finally I give up. I will have to find Boob's gifts post Christmas. Which wouldn't be horrible except that I begged boobs to come to my work today to pick up said gifts and didn't know if I'd catch her in time to stop her cause she has mad running to do today.

YOu can release that breath you're holding, I caught her, I'll give her her gifts after the holiday, along with hopefully taking her to the birthday dinner I never had the chance to treat her to.

Yeah. So I wrap a few more things and then settle down to watch the shows I tape every day.

I know. I should have gone to bed, but Sommer's gonna get booted out of the Starting Over house and I. Can't. Wait.

So I watch Starting Over (I know, pathetic, I never promised you all I'd be cool) and of course Ellen which was a repeat but who cares because she's wearing that lilac shirt that just looks so pretty on her...

Now it's time for bed. It's almost time to get up but whatever.

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