2004-04-27 - 4:09 p.m.

It's amazing to me. I'm exhausted.

Closing my eyes, even briefly is like an oasis in the desert and yet, I do not rest.

There never seems to be enough time.

I am never relaxed.

No matter what I'm doing I always feel pressure to be doing more.

I could never be a college prof.

Oh there are so many reasons why, but the one that ties in here goes like this:

I was in a hurry up and wait pattern today. I was rushing to do a million things but was forced to sit in a hallway outside of a classroom and wait for someone.

Inside the classroom is a student giving a talk about organic farming. I think it's about organic farming. It's hard to follow because she stops to check her notes freqeuntly and peppers her vocabulary with words like "uh" and "like". It goes on for a painfully long time and I cannot imagine having to actively listen and grade this when there are so many better ways to spend my time.

In front of me is another classroom.

The topic is interesting and challanging and while at first the prof. gets no feedback when he asks for it, eventually the class warms up and a good discussion begins. This is good, this would be the part I could do, but after a few moments of this he distributes sheets to be filled in.

And then he stands. For one half hour. Stands in front of the room and watches them write.

He does not sit and correct exams from another class.

He does not sit and read a book.

He does not sketch grapes on the back of his folders or practice his autograph in case he becomes famous some day.

He just stands, and watches.

No thanks.

I wrote this.

I tried to close my eyes. I tried to just sit and listen to the student talk about organic farming.

I tried but I couldn't do it.

I tried to watch the prof. stand there and watch his students.

I tried just sitting with my eyes closed and enjoying the downtime.

I ended up writing this on the back on an envelope from my purse after poking through my date book looking for anything intersting to do/read/make a list of.

click here to add to the 0 comments so far

previous - next

about me - read my profile! Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!