2004-02-02 - 4:44 p.m.

If you know me you know I'm addicted to reality tv.

Insert line from the first Batman Movie:

"I've tried to avoid all this but I can't."

I swear to you I didn't intend for this to happen. I was cocky though, I didn't think it could happen to me.

When the first Survivor aired I refused to watch. I deemed it stupid and turned up my nose.

Then they replayed the whole damned thing and I don't remember the reason (unless it was just that it was summer and I'd seen all the good shows), but I watched. I expected to hate it. I expected to have lots to rant about. How could people sit around and watch this absolute crap?

Except I loved it. I hated exactly who they wanted me to hate and loved who they wanted me to love. I was putty in Mark Burnett's hands.

Next it was the Mole. I came to the Mole halfway through the second season, when it was really too late. I watched the Mole because Wendi Loo insisted that I watch.

I fell in serious lust with Anderson Cooper, the host of the Mole. The show was really a good show. It was a clever premise and they went to great places, but really, it was mostly about watching Anderson be as snarky as he could be.

When the next Survivor rolled around I knew I'd watch, and I always sort of thought it was a shame they had such a lame host, wouldn't this show be better if Anderson hosted it?

Anderson lust led me to a message board full of horrible people that left me traumatized for some time, but while I was there discussion was started about the begining of a new Amazing Race. There were to be twin boys who were apparently hot as a texas day in august and who had posed naked together.

Okay, I'm in. I watched, to see them, and then to see the show. Amazing Race is really one of the best shows out there. You get to see so many different places and so many things to do. There host was and is the worst host of a reality show by far. With a good host this show could really go places instead of being nearly cancelled after each run.

Once your in you'll watch almost anything. I love the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, Extreme Makeover, Extreme Home Makeover all of it, bring it all on. I even watched Average Joe all the way through. Just the first one though, it sucked and I couldn't make myself watch hawaii.

CSI may have ruined it's chances with me, but Survivor...oh, my beloved Survivor.

Probst has grown on me. I've got a little crush on him now. It's not me that's changed, they've allowed him to snark it up some and he's downright mean some days which as we all know, is just exactly what a girl wants.

I always seem to fall for Jeff right at the end of the season, just when it's too late and he's gone for a few months.

Last night I was primed and ready. I couldn't even watch that silly little game before it. I've not missed a SuperBowl game since I crushed everyone by knowing the outcome of the game I insisted was between the Giants and the Bulls all those years ago. (Yes, I know now it's the Bills). I've never been wrong about the outcome of a superbowl. Never, not once. You want to bet, come to me. I can't give you a point spread but I'll give you the winner with complete accuracy. The reason? I don't give a rats ass.

If Mariucci isn't coaching them, they ain't my team. That's my only rule when it comes to football.

Where were we? Oh, right, so I couldn't watch the game because it was the only thing standing between me and my sweet sweet all stars. I was getting pretty resentful about this stupid little ball getting kicked around by grown men.

Finally though Adam did his job and the Patriots won, which was for the best or I think a few very close friends of mine might have had to have been hospitalized. It was over, everyone I knew would be happy and we could get on with the really important thing going on.

(Probst by the way, along with Toby Keith, both said the Pat's would win)

All stars was all I would have wanted it to be. I was thrilled. The highlight for me...well, the hightlight BEFORE tribal council, was the look on Colby's face when Jerri came out of the jungle.

Poor, poor Colby.

Don't worry Colby, we all just feel bad for Jerri cause she's the only one who hasn't guessed at why you're so unaffected by the women running around nekkid.

I had forgotten how much I love Boston Rob.

The absolute BEST thing about last night though? The gift from the Survivor God?

POURING, pounding rain at tribal council.

I swear they just bring in buckets to dump on Probst.

Just keep getting Jeff wet and I'll keep tuning in. The formula is simple and foolproof.

The worst part about it?

Rupert and Rudy, both of whom should know better, actually siding with the idiot girls.

Lord help us.

The only way I can forgive them for this is if they wanted rid of Tina to get the balance of power to the men of the tribe. If it's Ethan, Rupert and Rudy against the twinkie foundation, well then more power to you boys, but if they think they're gonna get rid of Ethan next and then run around with the Twinks they'll be eaten alive.

By the way...if you, like J and D and a few other folks, know what yesterday was the anniversary of, don't worry, I'm okay, and for the record I refuse to feel bad about being okay. It's been 14 years dammit and it's time to heal.

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