2004-04-14 - 12:38 p.m.


I hate it when I take a few days off because people use my computer, and by people I mean Dobie.

Our virus protection program has ended and no one knows what to do about it and so now everything I try to do I'm getting problems...

Thank goodness that last entry was a mere speck of an idea before it disappeared.

Any rate.

I've missed Matthew so much lately.

It's not a hard jump.

I'd missed him for awhile before the whole Don thing came up, but then, when the Don thing came up and then even more so when the car died...

I don't know if I've really explained Matt here before, I'm not sure it's possible.

If you don't know who Matt is let me put it this way, Matt and OOMM were roughly the same as Will and Grace only even MORE codependent, and years before the whole thing was a sitcom.

A few years ago Matt moved away and it was time. We were ready to be away from each other. Had it come any earlier I think it would have killed us both, but the time was right.

There was a two and a half year period during which Matt and I were together EVERY day. Literally. On the one day that we thought we weren't going to be able to actually see one another we spent the entire day on the phone. I remember it vividly. I was scrubbing the tub and weeping because he wasn't there with me. As it turned out a friend of mine called and wanted to get together that night and naturally I had her drive me directly to his house.

Matt went with me to pick up the car that we just recently had to part with. Cleaning the car out I just kept thinking how much I wished Matt were there with me then.

I sent a letter to Matt's dad the week before last, asking him to give Matt my contact info if he spoke to him.

It was a long shot, Matt's dad and he have never been what anyone would call close.

I got a call on my cell two days later from Gordon (matt's dad) saying he hasn't heard from matt in "awhile" but here are his last few phone numbers.

I tried them once. Got no answer, no voice mail or machine. I checked them both in reverse look up and neither comes back to his name. Unsurprising because in the financial responsibility department Matt is more Jack than Will...

I haven't tried again. I wasn't really sure why, because I do miss him so much.

Then a few nights ago I had a dream.

Worried now that I'll lose this window as it gets longer...

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