2004-04-14 - 12:57 p.m.

A few nights ago I had a dream.

I was sitting on Matt's lap, lying on him really, he was sitting on a chair and I was lying on him with my head on his shoulder and I was telling him all that had happened since we'd last seen each other and he was telling me everything and we were both speaking song lyrics to each other from "our song" (We Belong-Pat Benetar).

It felt so good, so much like home.

Then he said he was getting married. I said how wonderful. He said yes, I was going to try to contact you to ask you to come. I got in touch with mom, and (I've blocked the name, some girl) already and next I was going to call you.

I sat up. I stared at him. I asked him who (let's call her Tammy, just cause) Tammy was. He said she was his best friend. He explained to me that she was his soulmate.

No. That's me. I am the only woman you could ever want. Me.

I was devastated.

So you can see rather easily I think not only why I'm hesitant to call him, but also why all of this comes up so close to the Donnie thing.

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