Comments:

Elizabeth - 2005-03-15 13:31:56
I used to do that too. I'd buy new clothes instead of just washing the perfectly good ones I had. I wish I could still do that.
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Crate - 2005-03-15 13:57:29
If ribs make you sick, how did they get in the freezer in the first place? And is that why you like artichokes better than pigs? Aren't we a little biased, maybe? And why is this comment written entirely as interogatives? Wouldn't a simple declarative statement be anice change of pace? Don't imperatives deserve a little attention, too? And aren't I just so proud of myself and think I'm all clever? Doesn't that bug you?
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oomm - 2005-03-15 14:41:01
Wow. I am so touched by how interested you are in me. Let me take the time to answer each of these questions completely (mostly because I can't spell thoroughly).

The ribs got in the freezer by way of the hands of either my mother or myself. You see here's how it works. We get into my car, which is to say, we give the dog 2 (two) ginger snaps, tell him to be a good boy, go onto the porch, lock the door behind us, walk to the car, unlock the car, open the car door, get into the car (sitting down) shut and lock the car doors, put on seat belts. I started the ignition via a turn key method and pressing down on the gas pedal (found under my foot on the right). I then put the car into gear (reverse) backed out of my driveway, turned (North) and put my foot (right) on the brake pedal (left). At this point I change the gear to drive after which I disengage my foot (right) from brake pedal (left) and reapply it to gas pedal (right). I move the vehicle along the road way using variating pressure on both gas and brake pedals, as well as using a wheel to steer.

Upon arrival at the grocery store I find a parking space in the lot(handicapped) and guide my car using the aforementioned pressure and steering techniques into said spot.

At this point I will apply pressure to the brake, put the car into "Park" gear and take my foot off of the brake. I then turn the motor off by using a similar turn key motion (in reverse), and remove key.

At this point seatbelts are removed, handicap permit is hung from the rear view mirror, the car doors are opened, exited, closed and locked.

We walk into the grocery store and choose a cart. One of us push the cart around the store and choose item that we will want to eat at some later point. The items that we choose are placed in the cart. Ribs were, at one time, one of those items. (Because I love them and had not yet confessed that they make me sick). When we feel that we have all of the items that we can afford we will proceed to walk to the checkout area.

At this point all items will be lifted from the cart and onto a belt which will bring them to the cashier. The cashier will ring them up and then extract money from us in exchange for allowing bag boy to place all of our items into bags for transport to the car.

The bags are then replaced into the cart and the cart is pushed to the parking lot. I will use a key to open the trunk of my car and then remove the groceries from the cart to the trunk. When all groceries are loaded the trunk is closed. The cart is returned to either the store, or the cart corral.

I reverse much (but not all) of the order of the drive to the store and drive back to my home. When I arrive there we will park the car in my driveway employing many of the methods described in "parking in parking space at grocery" section. We will exit the car, open the trunk, remove the bags from the trunk, and close the trunk.

These bags are then carried to the house. The door is unlocked and opened. The dog is greeted and allowed outside to urinate with joy. The bags are placed on the kitchen counters. Each bag is emptied and each food item for future consumption is placed in a given area. The ribs were placed in the freezer.

The bag was then placed in the bag recyling area, not that you asked.

That is not why I like artichokes better than pigs. I do not in fact like aritchokes better than pigs. I perfer pigs to artichokes for many purposes.

Artichokes are just funnier than pigs .

It is possible that I posess a bias. If I do posess a bias it would be to more humor not against pig hearts.

It is written that way because you are desperately intersted in knowing more about me and my life.

Declarative statements are rarely simple and not usually as nice a change of pace as an artichoke.

Imperitaves are my favorites, except in the hands of the union.

Yes, I believe you are, and I'm certain that you do.

Why? Should it?


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Crate - 2005-03-15 14:46:37
Now I have all the data I need to track you down! Mua-ha-ha!
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oomm - 2005-03-15 14:55:09
Oh, I'm easy to find. Just look behind you.
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Crate - 2005-03-15 14:56:07
Ahhh!
Sorry. You startled me.
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oomm - 2005-03-15 14:58:56
That's not nice. I tried to make myself all perty for you. Here, pat my bow...it's made of real artichoke skin.
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