Today is not cool.

I got way too little sleep last night, ate too little yesterday and set myself up for a lousy day today.

Then I got to work and things got worse. The giant twisting hill that I have to drive down (leading to, in essence, the OCEAN) was a glimmering ice rink. That hill made me more nervous this morning than it has in 8 years of doing this.

I got into my office and the Evil Dr. is using my copier even though he has a completely useful copier of exactly the same quality right next to his own desk.

He prints out alot of stuff and we argue frequently about how much ink he goes through, so when he thinks he can slip it in he'll use my copier/printer to suck up some of my ink instead.

As he's putting all of his paperwork all over my desk which is covered in piles of my own work, he is hitting me with a ton of information that I am just not ready to process.

I'm barely in the door. I still have my coat on. I am 15 minutes early for work (I never get here earlier than 45 minutes late for work). You have to be kidding.

We have a meeting with the sexiest ex-shellfish constable ever, on whom I have had a crush for one week short of a full year. This is the first time he and I have officially met. He's married and junk so there's nothing there, but very nice to look at. Given the way meetings around here usually run, you have to have some sort of eye candy to get through it.

Here's the amazing thing about the sexiest ex-shellfish constable ever...he took control of this meeting in a very humble way. He knew exactly what he was talking about, had extensive knowledge about the subject of the meeting and a clear thought as to how we should proceed. He was open to suggestions, he gave several options and led a discussion about the pro's and con's of each. He brought the best out of everyone at the meeting and even offered to take the lead on getting the ball rolling, giving himself a much shorter deadline than any of us would have given him.

This guy is on top of it.

I love him. I am building a "Sexiest ex-shellfish constable ever" shrine in my office and contacting the folks at People Magazing and the Nobel Prize Committee at this very moment.

I had no idea it was possible to have a productive meeting that included men.

And then.

The KOI.

Well, not just the KOI, but something about him...

There has been an issue with some people who work with us in a tangental fashion. They have dropped the ball on numerous occasions and left us all scrambling. They have now become somewhat rude and combatative and at the same time are asking for money from us under a grant. The call for proposals for this grant ended nearly 2 weeks ago.

There are two of these people who work as a team. I sent EACH of them THREE (3) copies of the call for proposals which clearly stated the due date. Now they'd like to know when the due date is.

You missed it.

That's my take.

Instead, Larry, Moe and Curley (aka Dobie, The Evil Dr. and The KOI) have told them that the proposals are due now.

What is that? First of all, no, you missed the deadline. But okay,not one of you moronic boys can deal with confrontation and you all backdown like jellyfish when you meet the least resistance. So you decide to let them still send in a proposal.

Fine, sign me up, teach me the words to Kumbya...but NOW?

How is that a business response? They're due now.

No, They are due on X date before X o'clock. That's how it's done.

So I got upset. I told the KOI that I don't care, that I'm not going to argue anymore because it's not my money and what the hell do I care in the end.

He didn't like my attitude. I softened just a little. I said, it's not that I won't express an opinion, it's just that, I can't be that wound up by it. I can't afford to get angry about it anymore because no one cares if anything get's done right.

He says "or YOUR perception of right."

Is it me? Seriously? Is there another perception of THIS IS THE DEADLINE. ?

Meeting a deadline is a "perception" of right?

Welcome to living in the bubble of academia kids.

I use an analogy that I know will hurt the KOI and that he will take as a personal attack. I do it partly because it's an appropriate analogy and partly because he has treated me like a second class citizen today once already (not previously mentioned here).

I say, it's like raising children. You say no no no no no no no...oh, I"m tired, go ahead, yeah. And you do this over and over because there are "bigger battles to fight" and then one day you have an out of control 16 year old living in your house and suddenly you're saying, you can't do this, you have to be in at x time and this kids says "fuck you."

He says it's such a small thing it's not worth all of this attention.

The argument of small things becoming big ones is lost on him.

He informs me that his Bigger Battle To Fight is consuming too much of his time and energy right now to be bothered with this petty stuff.

His bigger battle?

His bigger battle is that his lunch buddy is upset with him that he doesn't attend enough Darwin Festival Talks.

Are you fucking kidding me? Fishface doesn't like that you don't go to enough ON CAMPUS crap?

Fishface is mad that the KOI had to come here for a meeting today. First of all, fishface is your coworker and your lunch buddy, he is NOT your boss. Even though it's obvious to everyone but you that he's only your lunch buddy because he sees you as a puppet with very easily pulled strings.

Second of all you were here exactly ONE time in the entirety of last semester and yet you are the FACILITIES director.

Okay.

Wait, that must be more of my perspective problem right?

It must just be me being an emotional female that I see it more important to get our mini grants program to run on time and our meetings for grant proposals that we're running than it is for you to make sure that your lunch buddy isn't mad at you for missing IN SEARCH OF KING SOLOMON�S RING: COMMUNICATION AND COGNITION IN GREY PARROTS

I'm not making this up. That's what he might have missed had he stayed here to have a meeting about lab business. But it was far more important to figure out how to talk to a parrot.

Polly Want A BackBone.

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