I have, in theory, two bosses.

The King Of Incompetence (KOI) is my primary boss, though if I do what he tells me to he gets angry because even he knows he can't be trusted to be in charge, so my main job is to do what has to be done and make him think it was his idea.

The Evil Doctor is my secondary boss. My boss by default. While he will frequently ask me to look at things for him, or help him with tasks, he has never felt particularly "boss like" toward me, probably sensing that if he tried to pull rank he would immediately regret it.

There have been numerous meetings scheduled between myself and the Evil Doc lately for various and sundry purposes. He has not made a single one of them.
He informed me last thursday of his intention of spending "the whole day" here on friday.

Friday arrived and I was here from close to the time I'm supposed to be(ish) until it started snowing heavily at 2pm. At that time I decided it was best to start the more than an hour ride home before the snow (they were promising over a foot in my home area, only about 4 inches here) became unmangable closer to home.

Three quarters of the way home my cell phone rang. It was someone who had called my office looking for me. They were considerably upset.

Apparently the Evil Doctor answered my phone (we've discussed on more occasions than I can count the fact that he needs to stay the FUCK out of my office when I am not there).

The caller, expecting it to be me, or one of two other people who could be answering my phone, asked who they were speaking to.

"EVIL" his name short and rude.

Did he ask who was calling?

He did not.

So my caller asked politely whether I was there.

"NO!" Practically yelled into the phone.

My caller politely thanked him and hung up, then called me.

Are we kidding with this? What kind of AssMonkey goes into someone elses office, answers their phone and is rude to whomever is on the other end?

It's likely he was angry with me for not being here to wipe his nose or whathaveyou, but I don't care how you feel about me, when you answer a phone in my office you treat the person on the other end of that line with respect.

He called me this morning. This is how the call went.

"Good Morning OOMM. Dr. Evil here!" perky as you please

"Oh. Hello Evil." (Short, pissy)

"Ah, I seen we're in a congenial mood this morning."

"Yes. That's how things are on my phone. Congenial."

"Ah, well I'm off on my way to (excuse to eat all day disquised as work)."

"Yeah, you put that on the board."

"Oh, uh...right. I just wanted you to know I'll be in tomorrow"

"uh huh..." obviously not listening, keys ticking away in background.

"Um, did I mention that your money for that extra project is in?"

"Phase 2?"

"yeah, so you have to put in hours for that (nice big chunk of change for doing next to nothing) before June 1."

"I'm doing as much as I can, you don't give me more, I can't do it."

"Oh, no, I don't care if you're working the hours, I know you'll get the work done, but don't lose the money, put the hours in soon so yu don't lose the money."

If you insist.

But you're still an assmonkey.

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