2006-09-13 - 4:21 p.m.

I begin today with an open letter to my throat:

Dear Throat,
Knock it the fuck off or I'll take a letter opener to you. I gave you airborne, I gave you close to three continuous hours of sleep. STOP IT!
The rest of me/us

Now an open letter to Mike "Boogie" the "winner" of Big Brother "All Stars"

Rancid Piece of Crap,
You did not end world hunger, you lied and slept around with pathetic girls with no self esteem and road the coattails of Doctor Delicious for a couple weeks. If this gives you "Street Cred" like you so desperately desire please let me know what street this is happening on so I can send my 82 year old aunt by to kick your lame asses.

And now to the loser of Big Brother All Stars, Erika:

Dear Erikant,
All the Silkwood showers in the world won't take the stench of desperate girl who hates herself off of you. Maybe it's time to get off of teevee and take a few self help courses.
The few people left who can think about you without throwing up in their mouths

And finally:

Dear Fox television network type people,
If you move Standoff to 8pm after the baseball season like you are threatening you had better prepare to send Ron Livingston over to my place because I'm going to take my pets hostage. No one should have to choose between RL hotness and Mark Harmon hotness...NO ONE!

People with functioning eyes

Yeah, I think that's it for the open letters.

Ketos update is that I took him to the vet yesterday and he's torn his ACL in his right knee probably but it's hard to tell and he's also somehow messed up his hip. The vet thinks it's not permenant and put him on pain killers for 5 days so we're playing wait and see. We're also playing "It takes 45 minutes to get him into the house which means carrying him while he backs up and bucks like a wild bull screaming at the top of his lungs" which: not all that much fun.

I spent a little time today making a mixed cd for E-beth who better have meant it when she said random=good.

I'm not sending along a song list, she should know most of them and if she can name them all without googling I'd be shocked.

And before the rest of you get your panties in a bunch let me just say that while I could be persuaded to send you a copy of this cd, you wouldn't want it. It's very "E-beth" friendly.

I'm off work tomorrow to take Aunt Emma to the oncologist for follow up stuff. It should be quick and then my plan is to lie down and fight off whatever it is that has taken up residence in my throat. Of course that was the plan yesterday before going to the vet and it didn't help all that much.

I'm also off work on friday but finally I plan on doing something super fun.
Wendiloowhoo and I will be going to the museum of science to attend Body Worlds:

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I couldn't be more excited about this. Well, I could. Because it could be NOT supposed to rain and Wendi and I could be going with Steve Burton and Ronlivingston who would then immediately whisk us off to some deserted island full of nothing but them and margaritas but y'know, it'll do.

Then I have a full week of work next week (the HORROR) and then a week off. I'm supposed to spend the bulk of my week off at Wendiloo's place. Ketos and I are going to make the drive out because he has to come with me, but naturally, as is becoming my natural state of being, my vacation depends on the health of my pooch.

If he's better and we make it Wendi and I are going to make gingerbread loafs and drink Screaming Yellow Monkeys. It may not sound like a vacation to you but it's exactly what I need.

Okay, I'm going home to pick up my dog. Literally.

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