2006-01-06 - 11:12 a.m.

It's a strange thing.

When I haven't written here in a long time I feel the need to write something well written and/or funny when I come back. It will last for days, this need to make what I type into this silly little box be something worth reading.

It slows down the coming back process because I have all these little thoughts that need to be nurtured into a full on entry but I don't know if I have the stamina or patience to write anything that is worthy of my wonderful readers so I write nothing.

Then I feel increased guilt about how much longer it's been and how much better the next entry should be and how it can't be a lame entry with a story about The Bug and the comment that nearly made me drive off the road, or a simple rant about the reputation of Massachusetts drivers compared to my experience of New Hampshire drivers when they're driving Massachusetts roads.

Because I've wanted to write about both of those things for a few days now, but they seem so small, and I know, that if I had my writing in gear I'd be able to spin them out into something readable and maybe even enjoyable.

When I get started writing then I'll just make a hundred entries a day about how my lunch tried to kill me or...huh, I have no idea what I write about but I do know that when I haven't been writing I really resent those little entries of boring stuff because I see them all as lazy days when I didn't take the time to work them into something better.

You would think I'd have enough pressure in my life without adding to it myself over something like this.

Sometimes it keeps me up nights.

That's not to say I haven't written at all. There are two new chapters of Fix up at that happy little button to the left which when clicked leads you to a world of CSI stories. A third new chapter will go up today, it would be up already if I weren't expecting the KOI any minute.

I got 720 hits yesterday on Fix and two reviews. One review barely even counts because it was from Queen Kate who always reviews every chapter and I'm pretty sure has a girl crush on me. (Mind you, I love the girl crush, but her review is a given).

How can 718 people read something and have NOTHING to say about it? Loved it, hated it, thought it was boring and a waste of my time, whatever...they had to have some sort of opinion.

Actually, make that 717, because one reader gave me her review in another forum. Still. I'm shocked that many people would read anything I would write, and I'm gratified by it, because every time I post a new chapter I get numbers like that for this little story that I never really thought I'd write past a few chapters.

But I'm a comment whore. You guys know that. As much as I love to see comments here, multiply that by Twelvitybijillion and that's how much I love the reviews for my fiction.

They don't have to be glowing reviews, the constructive ones make me work harder, they shape me, I love them just s much (Okay, almost as much). I've never gotten a full on negative review of one of my stories or chapters so I don't know how I'd feel about it. I guess it would depend on the source.

Hmmm. I had stories to tell and rants to rant and ended up doing a longish entry on writing.

Telling, that. I think.

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