2005-09-02 - 12:37 p.m.


Okay, so here's why I love Anderson Cooper.

For those of you who are new to the Coop the brief history of Anderson is that he's the son of Gloria Vanderbilt (and for those of you who aren't old enough to know what that means it means he was born an aristocrat but way after all the money was spent, so everyone expects him to be a spoiled little billonaire when really he's only a spoiled little millionaire which is basically just enough to buy 2 gallons of gas anymore).

He went to Yale. He busted his hump covering wars with a fake press pass and a camera to get some cred. then did a bunch of low rent news shows until he did the reality show "The Mole" for two years and then CNN realized the magic of Anderson and snatched him up.

At first CNN just shuttled him around but the fan outcry forced them to give him a cherry spot and his own show at 7pm eastern.

He has the most piercing blue eyes and lovely silver hair and is one year younger than me (he's 38ish).

Oh, and he's gay, but don't tell because he won't say it, even though he's in every gay bar you can swing a stick at.

For the record I believe that he would have no problem tarting himself up like Lou Reed and belting out "Make Up" at the top of every newscast only I think he thinks it's way more fun to watch the "Is he or isn't he, why won't he just say so" drama play out around him because he craves the attention.

Er. Where were we?

Oh yes. Why I love Anderson.

I, as we have noted many times, do not have cable tv because I still have to leave the house sometimes. So I'm down to reading the transcripts of 360degrees with Anderson Cooper online.

Last night he had a Louisiana Senator on and was asking her why the city of New Orleans wasn't better prepared, whether the feds were responsible for this damage because they didn't put enough money into fixing stuff they new was a disaster in the making and she said, this isn't the time for pointing fingers, and then she goes on to lick the anus of every political figure in the free world who saw this as an opportunity to get their ugly mugs in front of a camera and send what amounts to a big "There there now" to the people who are stepping over dead people to take a dump in the street.

And do you know what my Anderson said to this lady?

Cause you know what all your network guys would have said,right? They'd have helped her lick all the democrat ass and then gone on to say how it's all W's fault.

But do you know what my Anderson said?

Here, let me show you:

COOPER: Excuse me, Senator, I'm sorry for interrupting. I haven't heard that, because, for the last four days, I've been seeing dead bodies in the streets here in Mississippi. And to listen to politicians thanking each other and complimenting each other, you know, I got to tell you, there are a lot of people here who are very upset, and very angry, and very frustrated.

And when they hear politicians slap -- you know, thanking one another, it just, you know, it kind of cuts them the wrong way right now, because literally there was a body on the streets of this town yesterday being eaten by rats because this woman had been laying in the street for 48 hours. And there's not enough facilities to take her up.

Do you get the anger that is out here?

She tried to put him off but he just kept right on at her. He was saying how dissappointed we all are in the people in that city who ...you know what he says it better than I can paraphrase it.

ell, I mean, there are a lot of people here who are kind of ashamed of what is happening in this country right now, what is -- ashamed of what is happening in your state, certainly.

And that's not to blame the people who are there. It's a desperate situation. But I guess, you know, who can -- I mean, no one seems to be taking responsibility.

I mean, I know you say there's a time and a place for, kind of, you know, looking back, but this seems to be the time and the place. I mean, there are people who want answers, and there are people who want someone to stand up and say, "You know what? We should have done more. Are all the assets being brought to bare?"

Do you know what this bitches reply was?

LANDRIEU: Anderson, Anderson...


Me personally? I'm torn about the whole thing.

Yeah, you know what there is NO REASON why we don't have food and water down there.

There's also no reason these people should be sitting in the street waiting for someone to save their ass. If it was me I'd get to walking. The mayor told them, the highway is open, start walking out of the city. They sit there, they were told the city was going under, they sat there.

You like it so much there? Good, cause you're gonna be a part of the mud soon.

And you know what? If I'm a rescue worker and I'm there working on my 30th hour without sleep or rest and I'm trying to help these people who didn't do jack ass shit to save themselves in the first place (and I know that isn't true for allof them but it's true for most of them) and someone OPENS FIRE ON ME?

yeah, see ya. Die like you lived suckers.

But you know, then there are people there who legitimately couldn't have gotten out and who are terrified and who are watching the dead float by and who paid taxes and trusted the people who told them that this is the greatest county in the world and shit like this doesn't happen here.

And then you want to cry and run down there and risk your life to help.

Of course I didn't cry until I saw that German Shepard sitting alone on the roof of his home, waiting to be rescued.

Let me down there. Let me rescue the truly innocent. The pets where were kept there by their families who no doubt loved them but placed them in harms way, giving no choice to them.

One guy in a wheelchair wouldn't go to a shelter because they wouldn't take his dog. ROCK ON BROTHER, you and your dog are welcome at my house.

I told my family, I'd make sure you were out, I'd do what I could but I gotta tell you, if the water is rising and I'm on the roof with my Ketos and the chopper comes and says just you, not the dog?

I tell that chopper to move on to the neighbors because I'm not leaving that boy to die where I brought him and promised him he'd always be safe. Not alone. We get out together or we go down together. Fire, flood, you name it.

I dunno. I'm tired of thinking about it, but then, where do I get the audacity to be tired of thinking about it when these people are living it?

Let's all just look at Anderson instead, okay?

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There we go.

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