2005-08-01 - 12:28 p.m.

I'm so tempted to not write what I came to write. My head is full of chopstick.

Here's the thing. I want to give you a review of last night's American Idol concert. I got there late and as it turns out I left early which is a real disappointment because I apparently missed some of Bo's stuff, but it was just too horrifying to sit there.

Okay, tell you what, I'll just off the cuff a little review for you and maybe that will help me get my head straight for when I write to Pop Tarts and AI and tell them why I want my money back. Okay? Okay.

I arrived late because Adam missed his train which wasn't his fault because the train from Salem was late. No big deal.

I wasn't in the mood for the show at all, it had been a long weekend and, as evidenced by the few things I've written here lately, I have other stuff on my mind.

The show started at 7pm. What kind of freaking concert starts at 7pm? I mean, I get it, more than half the audience is under the age of 8 and almost the other half is over 65, but COME ON.

There were a couple of people I was hoping I missed- Anwar and Scott most notably.

I got there while Scott was onstage. He sounded fine but he's just such an ass it's tough to put up with.

The stage set is the stupidest thing I have ever seen. I was homicidal just looking at it.

They have an ALL WHITE staircase up to a flat white set. This is their entire stage set. Worse yet is the fact that the steps on the staircase are so high that in order to go up them each singer has to pick up their foot as high as their knee to reach the next step.

It is obvious this was done so that when they do ensemble stuff everyone can be seen but a simple side case closer together and center case that's wider would accomplish that. I mean, people, I know I've done a show or two in my time but you have way more money, hire a set designer.

The lighting was abysmal. Most of the show consisted of stark white BACK lighting so that the audience was half blinded.

When Vonzell was on they had her rafter lights in purple, her dress was yellow and they bathed her in a white spot for every move. Who chose this stuff?

They had small screens on either side of the stage where the people in nose bleed land could watch the show live in close ups which is standard and fine, they did a pretty good job with that, I'll say that much. That camera crew earned it's money. The large screen behind the acts however was the saddest thing...for nearly every act it had screen caps of their Idol performances, settling for most of the time on VERY CHEESY VERY POOR close ups of the "idol".

Gag.

The sound? Over modulated and muddy. I was sitting where I could watch the sound guys and I have to say, they just gave up. The band was much louder than the idols. You couldn't hear the idols sing unless they were hitting the money notes and if they were speaking it was all just noise.

The show had absolutely no flow. It had no feel of being one show with an ensemble cast. It was all over the place. This was such a lazy way to go. It was completely possible to teach these dogs a few new tricks, to work with them as performers and get something more than their "Idol" performance out of them. Something worth the price of a ticket. Something that COULD actually turn out to be career building for them.

The women were all clearly instructed how to walk by the same person who teaches horses to do the Tennessee High Walk. It was like watching bad local pagent girls try to be miss usa.

I have a hard time remembering the order they came out in, it was like a bad dream. I know Anwar came out and played. He was a misery. I've never liked him. He oozes cheese. He sat down at a keyboard and said something about doing a little Stevie Wonder...I felt like I was on a cruise ship. You have to be kidding...Anwar? Is going to do Stevie?

It's like: Newsflash, people breath air, film at 11.

Nadia kicked ass. Well she would have. If you could hear her. But the guitar was a little much with the big high shoes and the little tiny dress. Pick a style Nadia and go with it.

Let me say this. I love Anthony Federov and I'm not going to apologize for it. He was a little nervous singing that stupid Paul Young song but again, the music was too annoying to be bothered by it.

Federov has bulked up, both physically and mentally. He sounds good, when you can hear him over the bass and he looks even better. He went from being the boy I wanted to take home and feed soup to the guy I wanted to grind on in a club. No doubt.

Bo. He felt...off to me. When he first came on stage he just didn't seem himself. Must've been nervous because I was there (these are the jokes kids) but the next thing I knew he was lying on the ground. That's right, tripped over the blasted flip flop and fell on the stage.
Goober.

He got right up, continued on and maybe it knocked some sense into him because after that he was much more himself.

His set was decent with a killer guitar solo. He really didn't sell me on Vehicle and seemed much more comfortable with the harder rock stuff which suited me just fine. If the sound quality had been better maybe I'd have more to say about it.

Carrie just sucked. She ruined 3 songs, 2 of which I used to like and then everyone but Bo came out to bow and say goodbye.

We left at this point because to me, if he didn't come out for final bow he's probably backstage with ice on his ankle.

I was wrong. He came out and did another set with Carrie and then the finale set with everyone but really, I'm not all that bummed about missing it. It was just a bad show all around and I'll be more excited to see Bo when it's his show and he can control more of the quality.

If he needs help he can feel free to call me.

Seriously.

I'll provide references.

Speaking of references...
Charley should be here tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited or anxious.

Oh, and thanks for the love for the two of you who sent me such lovely thoughts in the comments of the last entry!

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