2005-03-16 - 2:55 p.m.

I find it odd that when I have junk to do, and that I enjoy doing, is when everyone wants to socialize with me.

I am not that social. Well, that's not true, I'm a chatter. Like in school I was the kid who was always getting booted out of class because I just couldn't stop talking. Art class was my favorite time because I could let my mouth off it's leash the entire period.

The diary is an extension of that.I'm guessing that alot of people who diary more than once a day or spend their day in message/chat rooms were the kids who couldn't shut up in math class.

I love to sit around and tell stories, and if, on that rare occasion I meet up with another story teller I am content to sit and listen to theirs (it's rare, I'm more a talker than a listener and my eyes frequently glaze over if the person talking is NOT a good story teller).

That said, I don't usually go out of my way to find people to talk or listen to. Whoever happens to be around the office that day is generally who I chat with. There are a few exceptions, people I go out of my way to see and spend time with, but they are rare flowers.

Mostly I come to work and go home and watch reality tv. Which sounds bad when you say it like that, but between you and me I had enough of the wild life when I was younger and wilder. Now it's tv or a book and I'm happy.

Lately though, drop ins, pop ins, phone calls, instant messages, and yes, even an outing are all piling up.

Monday for example I was having a truly lovely instant message type chat with a friend that I speak to only maybe twice a year and see much less frequently than that. It's a strange thing because he's one of those people I could listen to forever. Excellent story teller, just as twisted as me (maybe more, scary thought) and with few or no boundaries. I love that in a friend.

While I was chatting with him The Bug dropped in. I excused myself from the chat to talk to the Bug who had little to say but time on his hands. The Bug sometimes I think uses me like some people use Prozac so I obliged and sent him on his way.

While he was here though I got a call from yet another friend, Tara Classic, and as discussed, she visited. It was excellent to see her and she reminded me of why I should miss her even though most of the time I probably don't.

Tuesday I was chatting in instant message with an online friend whom I have come to really really enjoy. You want to talk about someone I could talk to forever, this is your guy. He pushes me to be better, inspires me and amuses me. Amazing guy and I look so forward to our late afternoon chats.

Unfortunately during said chat the Bug once again dropped in, with even less to say this time. I kinda pushed him out but while he was here Captain Trevor (who most of you haven't been around long enough to remember but short version is boy of my dreams a few summers ago) called.

I haven't talked to Trev in a couple months and haven't seen him in a little longer than that. He called to say he was stopping by.

Great. No, really, get that sarcasm out of there. GREAT!

I mean, I LOVE Trevor. I enjoy the hell out of Trevor. Why aren't I excited that he's visiting?

Well, I'm kinda in this instant message thing with aforementioned new(ish) friend. And I'm kinda enjoying him way more than I do Trevor.


But Trevor shows up and I have to quickly extricate myself from instant message session with fun guy. (I'm so not putting his name or link here on purpose and I don't know why, cause it's not a secret, it's just more fun this way)

Trevor stays until it's time for me to go home. Here's the thing about Trevor. When we see each other we only have time to update each other on what's going on with us, which is usually mostly work stuff and then we have to go. This isn't much of a basis for friendship, it's more like a report.

Today I have scheduled play time with Boobs 2. I will enjoy this completely for at least two reasons, 1. She's always a total gas (in the good way, not in the blame the dog way) and 2. It's SCHEDULED. I know it's coming. I won't be in the middle of other things, I have planned for it.

Tomorrow I have scheduled play time with first instant message guy. Drinks at a mexican place, which is only right seeing as how it's St. Paddy's Day and I'm pretty sure we're both at least partially irish.

I'm happy about that now. Tomorrow I will likely be telling you all how much I don't want to go. It's not that I don't want to see him, it's the public thing.

I'm too fat to be in public. That's what it must come down to, though it isn't a conscious thought. I don't know that I believe that, or think it, but I know this, when I was in good shape I wanted to go out with everybody all the time. Now, I want to hide in my office and my living room. Out? No, thanks. Not me.

So tomorrow there will probably be freaking out. Today though we're looking forward to Boobs2 and apologizing to Very MostEXcellentNewFriend for ditching out of our message party yesterday so abruptly.

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