2005-01-21 - 10:55 a.m.

Do the evil Internet overlords have my office bugged?
Maybe it isnít my office theyíve bugged. Maybe itís my brain.
All I know is I came in this morning ready to head for Diaryland

Wait; can we pause for a moment to discuss Microsoft Word?
I always type my diary entries straight into the little box. Weíve talked about this before, I donít like the thought of working on them and crafting them in Word first, it seems like trying too hard for something that I prefer to think of as stream of consciousness.

Today though, for reasons I am about to share with you, I am typing in Word.
See the third sentence up there? The ĎAll I know isíÖsentence? According to Word it should read All I know am I came in this morningÖ

All I know am??

What scares me is that children are learning more lessons in grammar from their computers than they are in school these days and now they believe the correct phrasing for that sentence is All I know am.

Back to the previously scheduled rant:

I turned on my computer, did the few message checking things I have to do first and then started for Diaryland. Itís my morning kick, some people have caffeine, I have this.

Diaryland is down. Itís been down apparently for more than 24 hours.

I get freaked out, but then I remember that I can just go cruise Blog Explosion and perhaps that will do. Itís like half caf latte, but what can you do when Juan Valdez gets lost in an oil slick? (Word wants me to take ďanĒ out of that sentence, who in the hell is responsible for this?)

I tear off a quick email to Beth because Iím pretty sure this is having a similar effect on her day and she will feel my pain, then I head over to Blog Explosion (and YES Word, I mean BLOG).

Beth and I trade emails about how scary it would be if the Internet went away and we all had to actually do our jobs all the time. We reminisced about the days when you could smoke at your desk (and some of us about bottles at our desks) and not notice the raging boredom.

Then all of my phones rang at the same time and boom. No phones, no lights, no motorcarsÖoh wait, no, thatís Gilligan, no phones, no Internet, thatís me.

Thatís right. Gone. Ripped from my tender paws.

Did I despair?

Well, yeah, because you know, I want those Blog Explosion points, even though every time I get rated there itís a crappy rating, and I donít really care if they even read it, I just like seeing the little points rack up.

But I am a fighter.

Did I return to work?

I did not.

I opened Microsoft Word and got to blogging, because THAT is the American Way.

Oh, and as a slightly scary sidebar? My cell phone is set for different rings for different people. It just rang with a ring I donít use, not even as my random, not someone I know ring, for like 2 seconds and then just stopped. No missed call message, nothing.

Techno backlash.

Be afraid.

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