My clams have the clap.

I thought you'd want to know.

Seriously.

We had the clams from our pond tested, the pond where we are growing out clam seed so we can repopulate the clams in the area so everyone can run out to Clam Haven and shove a handful of steamers or fried clams down their gullet next spring.

They have Chlamydia (CLAMydia, heh) and Rickettsia.

The Clap and Rickets.

My favorite part of the report is the conclusion, after they tell us our clams have these things.

Conculsive comments:
These are healthy animals.

Um. Okay. If you say so. I won't be dippin 'em in butter any time soon, but you're welcome to deep fry 'em in some influenza and have at.

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