2004-11-19 - 11:05 a.m.

I'm breathing easier today.

I didn't mention it here but I my aunt died a few days ago. It's a long drawn out story but the point of it is that we had no relationship, then a very good relationship, then almost no relationship, then a fun relationship, then a fight and then I just ignored her completely. She did everything she could to make me talk to her but I never would because I refuse to be treated in certain ways and just because you are related to me does not mean I have to comprimise the way I will allow someone to treat me.

Now she's dead and I'm happy for my dad that he'll get to see her and stuff and I don't really feel sad because she was sick forever and whatever. I've lost too many people to flip out over the fringe deaths. The point is that my mom initially made noise about us having to go to the funeral. My mother wanted to talk to this woman even less than I did.

I REALLY didn't want to go because I felt like it would be hypocritical and false. I never liked the rest of her family and they never liked me so it would be no comfort at all for them to see me there.

We sent flowers and up until wed. night I thought we were going to go to the funeral. I was really tense about it because I'm not good at making idle conversation with people I loathe. A funeral is a bad place to tell half of your family that you think they're a bunch of losers that belong in prison.

At the last minute she changed her mind and I was spared. So that's a load off.

Unfortunately I went to the doc yesterday in anticipation of getting rid of the sexy shoe and finally being able to wear sneakers (I hate sneakers they have to be the least sexy footwear ever but they're better than a surgical shoe) but no. I'm still healing.

Initially he had said 3 weeks, then 4, then 5. It's been 5 weeks and now he's saying I can try again for a sneaker in 3 more weeks.

Are you kidding? Three weeks from now I'm supposed to be in cute boots, NOT ugly sneakers.

I should've just stuck to the flip flops.

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