2004-09-22 - 12:48 p.m.

Second of long entries...go back to first if you haven't read it yet

Some back story.

I have always been...outspoken.

When we were children I would sing, dance, do gymnastics. I was terribly dramatic.

I was the center of attention.

COSGU got to be my handler. I was sort of the monkey and she was the organ grinder.

As we got older she became the sophisticate and the glamor girl.

I had much more "glamorous" jobs but she someone always seemed more pulled together. Confidence was her middle name. I was just trying to have fun.

Somewhere around high school I became the chunky one. Eventually that moved into the full fledge fat one.

I was content to allow her to choose our activities when we were together because she always seemed to have good ideas. What she wanted to do always seemed that little bit more exciting than what I would have done (which wasn't much).

Understand, those of you who know me and are shaking your heads goinging...what the? When did she become the??? All of this was only true with COSGU. In nearly all of my other relationships I was the leader, in some the equal-though I find that rare, that I find another woman who is my equal, I am either humbled by them or more fabulous than them...but I have one or two around now who are my equals and I cherish them.

er...where were we...oh yes, this submission, if you will, was atypical for me but status quo with COSGU.

Had you asked me, I would not have equated it with my weight, I would have said she just had better ideas, or whatever.

Then I lost the weight. Then I went to visit.

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