Saturday.

Saturday I sleep until 1pm.

I'd have slept later but I was told it was time to get up.

Then I resumed the search for the stuff that would get me paid.

I found a propeller we've been looking for at work which Jack needs for the meter Scott brought him in Rowley so I put that with my purse.

I find one of the three things I need to get paid but it only creates more problems.

I try not to kill mom when she starts the "If you didn't leave stuff all over the place..." speech.

I take the dog outside to wait for the mailman because that's one of his favorite things.

While we're out there we hear a big CRUNCH and look in time to see Michaela having backed out of her driveway all the way across the street and into our neighbor's truck.

I make fun of her for a little while. Ketos laughs at her and calls her names and then we give up on the mailman and go inside.

At 2:30 we go get the elderly aunt who started this year walking at a snail's pace and has lost speed every day since.

This is my weekend. Every weekend.

I drive them around.

They don't know where they want to go, but whatever direction I happen to go is the one direction they didn't want to go.

Anyway, where they want to go is moot today because we are going to the lab to pick through the trash.

We drive the hour and 15 minutes it takes to get here. I get out and unlock the gate and then run away while the spider that has been sitting on the lock beats it.

I struggle to haul the gate open while the other two sit in the car and watch like I"m some live action drive in movie.

I hop back in, throw a little sarcasm in their direction and drive down the hill.

We get into the lab and yes, the trash has been emptied.

I didn't drive all this way for nothing so I go to my office and try to find some of that stuff I need.

No luck.

I take them and show them all the new stuff and how big the tilapia have grown since they were last here and then we leave.

We drive another 45 minutes out of our way so that I can bring the prop out to Jack. When I get to Jack's house he takes the prop and says "Thanks, do you have the meter?"

No. Dobie brought you the meter.

Dobie took it back.

It's in Dobie's truck.

Perfect.

Why not.

So the rest of saturday went alot like that, except that mom did hang at aunt emmas so i got to come home and watch a little of EdTV all on my own which is the most fun I have anymore.

Oh, no...we did something saturday night, I can't remember what, but we were up until 4AM doing whatever the hell it was.

Sunday.

Because we were up until 4AM we decided that we would not go to church outside but rather watch mass on tv, which works out best for both of us because she can't see or hear mass if we go to church but can fully understand on tv and it's on early enough that we both go back to bed afterward so I get extra sleep time.

I sleep until 11 and then we putter around doing little stuff like feeding ice cream cones to the squirrels and trying to hand feed the dog his food because he refuses to eat it any other way anymore.

When it is almost time to leave she tells me about my cousin coming to fix the ceiling so now I have to call Splink and cancel our sunday night plans so that I can stay home and help get the kitchen ready (thank goodness I stayed home so that we could start at MIDNIGHT).

Then we pick up the aunt and head out for parts unknown.

We start off in one direction but my aunt rattles her milk bottles so that I know we have to go to the farm to get her milk. I ignore the rattle because you can just ask for hells sake and continue on in the opposite direction of the farm.

We end up in Peterboro NH at this store called Ocean State Job Lots which is basically a big junk store but they have a little bit of halloween stuff out so I drop $50.00 on that, plus frame to hang my diploma which I got 4 years ago and promptly lost, but found in the great file cleaning of friday night.

We stop at a few places on the way back but I still manage to get her to the farm before they close so she can get the damn milk because in the end I'm just too nice.

We have dinner in our usual sunday place, I order chicken and rice, even though I don't want chicken and rice, because I have the feeling the that dog's tummy is wonky and he needs some chicken and rice to set things straight. Ordering it is easier than finding time to cook it.

I eat half of the chicken and rice, save half for the dog, and look through the Martha Sterwart Halloween mag I bought while they eat.

When we are leaving the sub shop I spot a college boy studying glycolysis and have to run for the door before I throw myself down next to him and insist he let me teach it to him.

I love me some glycolysis.

We take the aunt home, then take ourselves home.

I am home, miraculously, in time for Extreme Makeover home edition so that I can watch Ty annoy people. He's my hero. I want that bullhorn so bad.

At ten when that finishes I make brownies, just in case my cousin comes, which by the way mean's he's bringing his teenage daughter and HER 2 year old scream machine.

I figure if they don't come I have brownies, and if they do come I can shove a brownie in the screamer's mouth if I have to be home when they're here.

I wash all of the brownie dishes then sit down with my new halloween crap to look at it all.

Mom and I oooh and aaaah at the new stuff then start to put my diploma in the frame I bought.

This is easy but the problem is this frame has no way to hang it.

Rats.

We tear apart every drawer in the kitchen looking for one of those picture hanging thingies. This of course means we don't find one but manage to completely clean and reorangize every drawer in kitchen.

I realize I have some pictures a friend gave me that have two hangers on the back of each but are very light and could be hung with one.

Two hours later my diploma from four years ago is on the wall.

I sit, exhausted, feet aching on the sofa to relax. It is midnight.

"We'd better start taking stuff down if Frank's coming tomorrow."

Right.

This is where you came in kids.

By the way, the frenzy continues because I've completely cleaned and reorganized half of my desk today, including hauling in the vaccuum from my car and vaccuuming out the drawers.

Once I start I can't stop. Look out or I'll be coming to your place next!

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