2003-10-15 - 1:58 p.m.

Mwuah hahahahahahahahah.


What goes on in his head?


Do you have nothing else to do?


It's so sad. Really, it's sad. I wish I could help you, I do. I wish I could find the mirror to hold up to you so that you could see how all the smoke and illusion looks to everyone else but that xanax haze won't be got through.

I don't know how I can get angry with you I honestly don't. Right now I can't imagine being angry with you because you're so pitiful. That's right, pitiful, to be pitied.

Oh, there's potential for brilliance in there okay, but the need to orchestrate, the refusal to allow things to progress in a way that's natural...

On the upside you are becoming Andy you know. I know how you always wanted and feared that at the exact same time. It's happening and I'm not the only one that sees it.

It's not going to get better, it's only going to get worse. I wonder how you can possibly not see that.

I love the fact that you knew I'd answer that email right here in the diary, where everyone can see it. I thought about posting your side, your email to me so that people could see what I'm reacting to, what I'm dealing with but without your permission I don't need the hassle.

Suffice it to say that Nick is still reading the diary, still has stuff to say about what I do with my life and what I say to everyone and how I feel about stuff and he thinks he can fix me.

Stick to the brainless models Nick. They like it when you pose them. You aren't ready for real live girls. Probably never will be.

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