2003-05-20 - 12:55 p.m.


I just went to go to my private diary and realized I can't remember the name of it, let alone the password.

At all.

It's just gone from my brain.

And the funny thing is, the reason I wanted to go there is because I realize I can't write for crap any more. Not even posts on a message board, not even clever little emails and it's all backing up and becoming this glut of words that are misspelled and misused in my brain and then I started thinking about it and I though how much lately I've wanted to write something useful, something well crafted and saying something only I had no idea what I wanted to say and no energy to craft words into anything other than the prefunctory answers to questions and the like and I thought to my self, I thought, self what you need to do is get yourself back on that steady diet of just writing and writing and writing even when there are no words to write just putting that on the page because you are so fucking obviously blocked but I didn't feel like using a pen even though I usually do when I'm doing the obligatory 2 page a day writing to get through a block because I didn't want to get pen on my hands and look like some stupid academic at harvard today (?!@) and so I decided to just go to my other diary the one no one can read and just let whatever needed to come out come out and then I got to the log in page and just sat there staring at it and there is so something to all of this because I just remembered the password to it so bye.

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