2003-05-02 - 11:46 a.m.

So last night.

I went, I stayed 45 minutes, I left and called Nick on the drive home. Nick was working but I still managed to get his attention for about 20 minutes which for those of you who know Nick is like a miracle.

Huh. This entry was meant to be about going last night and turned immediately into Nick talk. I'm obsessed. You'll all just have to deal, or not read, or whatever.

Okay, the non-Nick talk part goes like this.

I got there with my students at about 7:10 and there was no one there that I knew but the place was full, nowhere to sit or stand which I hate completely because the first thing I want to do when I get into a place is hide in a corner. Instead we go into the dart room to look at photos from last halloween that one of my students has just had developed.

We wander out of that room as we are obviously in the way of dart playing people and Maureen, the girl who organized this little get together, sees me and calls out my name. I go over to where she is and give her an uncomfortable hug.

Maureen says that she's really surprised to see me, that she didn't know I was coming. Hmm. Okay. She invited me. Not only that but I sent her an email after that telling her that I had reinvited a few people that she thought she invited but had the wrong addresses for.

She gives me the list of people she expects to show up, I give her the list of people I expect to show up. She doesn't introduce me to the guy with her, I don't introduce her to the people I'm with.

She looks the window and says "Here comes Ferrente." This is all I wanted to hear. I RUN out the side door and scare the crap out of Michelle. We chat on the sidewalk and I think about grabbing her, throwing her in my car and running away with her. I have no desire to return to the cramped little bar where we will be forced to stand exactly in the way of both the barmaid and the people who are still constructing the stage for the evening show.

Michelle is one of those people that every time I see her my heart gets super happy. It never fails, no matter what I might react like (I give Michelle more crap than I ever give most of you, hard as that might be to believe it's true, I've said really really harsh things to this girl but I think it's just because I love her so damn much) I am always happier when she's around.

Any rate, Michelle and I go inside and chat for a few minutes and then Maureen comes to us (hell if I was going to deliver Michelle to her) and immediately starts telling Michelle about her new boyfriend who's in the bathroom blah blah. He comes out and Moe introduces him to Michelle and then me.

My students are calling me over to them so I go over and I have NO idea what it was they wanted to tell me but I was with them for a little bit and then they had to leave. So I start to say goodbye to them, and they're saying goodbye to Michelle and Maureen asks me if I'm leaving. Uh, no.

Now Maureen's boyfriend comes over and hands a beer to Michelle and one to Maureen. I hadn't been with them when he left for the bar so I got no drink out of him, but it felt a little excluding none-the-less. This probably goes back to the night Maureen, Hilda and I were playing pool with two guys at this other place and the two guys bought drinks for Hilda and Moe and didn't buy me one. There was no reason for it, they were just cuter than me, and I wasn't not standing RIGHT there when they asked, but they specifically asked just those two. So, yeah, I have a chip on my shoulder about this sort of thing.

Fat girl complex.

Okay, so the four of us stand there for a bit, talking about, I don't even remember what and then Maureen and her boyfriend disappear out back because God FORBID Maureen go 15 minutes without smoking up.

Now it's good, it's Michelle and I just chatting and I'm brining her up to date on what's up with Nick (I know I said this was the non Nick part but you know that's all I talked about) and while we're doing that the guy I told you about yesterday who's name, in case I didn't mention it, is Mark, came in behind me.

Mark comes in and immediately hugs me, more like folds me into him and says hello to Michelle. I'd forgotten how tall he is. Like JT tall. So we catch up a little and then he says he needs a beer. He asks if I need a beer. I say no, thank you. At this point I'm thinking, I'm leaving really soon and there's no point in a beer, but it was nice to be asked.

Then he says "Do you need tea? You need tea."

And I do. I need tea.

There is only one person reading this, only one person in the world that could hear this story and possibly, if he remembers something I told him in a long ranty email awhile ago, that will understand the significance of this. (cough Tel cough)

I don't want to go into it here because it will make some people feel like they didn't do a good job of things that they've tried to do over the years, and they have, but not in that very specific way that I needed them to, and if you are mystified by this ask me and I will probably explain it to you if you are NOT one of the men in my life or have not been one of the men in my life.

Anyway, that tea, it was so meaningful for me, such a lovely gesture, and that's just who Mark is, it would not have mattered who it was that wasn't feeling well, it was not specifically because he cares about me, it's because he's a caring person, but he does indeed specifically care about me I think. I think Mark has a certain fondness for me, despite the flirting of a brotherly nature. Though, for all I know when I walk out of a room he trashes me, but I really don't think so.

The tea, and seeing Michelle, made going out, if only briefly last night worthwhile.

I left when I'd finished my tea. I didn't see Maureen again and that was a good thing. I didn't see Henry which made me a little sad.

Overall I'm glad I went.

And that's the funny thing is that usually when I do go to these things that I'm dreading going to I end up happy that I went and wishing I had stuck around longer. It's when I go to things that I think I will love that I end up uncomfortable and wishing I'd stayed home.

Cher tonight. I won't regret that no matter what happens. Even if Cher is in terrible voice, even if the building colapses because I will be in the same building as Cher, and I will be with Wendi, another person who makes my heart happy.

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