Because I am a caring person I've decided to take all of the guesswork out of my birthday for you this year.

There are, after all, only 5ish days left for you to torture yourself about how best to please the wonderment of your life that is me.

So here it is, the easy way out, the list, the things that I want for my birthday, now rush right out and get started.

1. Nick-and all that entails. I want Nick completely and perfectly. I want him to be all mine, not shared with anyone else but not wishing for anything else but not losing anything of who he is, not compromising himself for me, but yet still completely able to be exactly where I need him to be at all times.

2. As long as we're in the boy neighborhood- Jeff. I want Jeff's ass at my door and I want a full on explanation of where he's been and what he's done and how he plans on taking the time to make certain that we never lose touch again.

3. Cher's phone number-but not in that stalky way. I want Cher to want me to call. I want Cher to call me. I want to trade recipes.

4. I want my pets and my family to be healthy.

5. I want Wendi to have clients, but still have time to come home (and for the quacks to win and for one of the dashboard boys to come sweep her off her feet).

6. I want Amy to have peace, this week and always.

7. I want...wow, for Tel I want so many things...I want things to work out best for everyone involved in his situation and for him to never stop finding more and more happy surprizes.

8. I want Michelle to take a breath and live instead of work and to realize what an amazingly wonderful, beautiful and vibrant person she is.

9. I want Ronda to be able to work and do what she loves and continue to have a happy marriage, but maybe to be able to come home for a visit(!!!)

10. I want Don to be able to accept what is and not keep wondering and wishing about what's not because I think it just hurts us all more.

11. I want Joe to finally just quit it.

(Oh, and for his show to be a success)

12. Jordan...I want him to be the phenomenal dad I know he can be.

13. Jonathan, I want to work harder to not lose touch with him, we always both seem to be so busy.

14. I want Charley to not miss Michael so much.

15. I want Taj to get that even if it's scary and horrible, it's better to feel the extreme joy of love and be broken and crushed when it's not what you want it to be than to be numb.

16. I want John to know that I'm proud of him and I'm very glad to have him in my life.

17. I want Yasmin to know how much she means to me and how grateful I am for everything.

18. I want Michaela to get out of her house and have a happy productive life.

19. I want J.P. to grow up and get out of his head and let someone help him to move past his ghosts.

20. I want the evil Dr. Joe to spontaneously combust.

21. I want Trevor to come home. Now.

22. I'd like a yoga mat and a good yoga tape.

23. I want to get the eating thing under control.

24. I want the body I had last summer, minus 20 pounds.

25. I want to get to see the people I want to get to see without having to go thursday night.

Hmmm....that's it, one for every year.

(Yeah, that would be #26. I want everyone to believe that I'm 25...hey, I'd still be older than the arm candy!)

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